Monday 29 September 2008

Think REAL hard

i did not sleep the whole day. 290908, 0607hrs. don know why. i keep thinking real hard, but, the strange thing is i don even know why. i am like this for some time already. could it be i have becoming another person? if it is, what is it then? i don have the answer now. my love, my life, my mind all in a real mess.

I met deddy not long ago (my best mate) he too, mess up. well, he is the only one on earth that know me. everything. back then way in 1997. i met him, he learnt Taekwondo from me. we train together and all. talk about life, and everything on earth. his cousin train with us too. and early this year. he told me his cousin commited sucide. i was shock. i feel very hurt. My student is death i could not believe it.

I am thinking do people still use strategy? if so, what are they thinking? is it good or bad? i mean their intend. action and execution can be the same but, starting off can be very different. If you know what i mean. lately my cat chang chang is sick, some kind of red patches over him. i feel sad very sad. coz i love him so much and the thing is i don know what to do with it. he already 10 years old. i am very scare that one day he will leave me. Will my cat go heaven? My Lord I pray to you if chang chang were to leave me here. PLEASE TAKE HIM WITH YOU. CONSIDER I BEG YOU IN THIS, IF HE DON MET YOU IN HEAVEN, I AM WILLING TO EXCHANGE MY LIFE FOR THAT. AMEN.

My Lord, i know i sin everyday, i know you forgive everyday. but, just help me not to everyday. i notice some people do thing out of some Vow or Oath they made, or rules to follow. but, then is that all in their heart? or just because of the oath or vow? now if they just do it out of vow or oath. can it be real they are? i learnt something. only throught conplete observation can one only understand. but some just base on something and SOMETHING ONLY. thats not very right. My lord you told me put others first before myself. I know you know i always do that. and in that you always are my soource. so all i have to give it all. My Lord. i am loyal to you no matter what happened. you know that. and i know you know that.

People see that way i act and some how there's some impression in them. i feel them My lord. is this good thing? i feel they think i don understand the bible well. but My Lord. you know i know your words. My Lord, i can i serve you more so. people die for a cause they believe. by doing so they think thats the way for they. My Lord can this be right? for me there's no wrong or right. just different view thats all.

Later My Lord....