All seem well... Yet I sense something wrong.... God I have commited our relationship to u. In fact include all family member as well. I knew I will turn out fine. ;)
Hope this time my armor and sword is stronger than before ;). The last have my armor and sword crush up. This time lets do it once more ;)
Love u God
Saturday 28 June 2014
Wednesday 25 June 2014
250614 2308Hrs
Ah chang time have passed so fast..... do you know i so missed you.... I love you a lot...... I will work hard to have the chance to see you again :) I love you.... :)
250614 2300HRS
Alvin sms me!!!!!!!!!!! HAHA brother!!!! where the fuck you been to? haha its been 2 and a half years.... i still hold on to our relationship brotherhood love comradeship. I love you brother. and from the day we become brother... though you are younger than me i always look up to you.... you are much wiser than i do.... now you are back.... fuck care the past lets gather and have a good talk again... lets do something for God.... Amen :)
Tuesday 24 June 2014
240614 1759hrs
Boating and heli our hobby new memory registered...... Without u = not complete....
I am sadden further to know our boating photo gone..... .....................
I am sadden further to know our boating photo gone..... .....................
240614 1714hrs
I make a costly mistake...... i didnt bring her to God, i only let her know about God.... :( sorry Lord.... Forgive me.....
240614 1616hrs
LUKE 17:1-37
And he said to his disciples, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin. Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”
240614 1531hrs
Now everything just about the same.... My bad point..... Thanks.... The words she use hurt me.
Those words I use "we don own each other" I say it because I didnt hear the reply from her..... If its harsh I am very sorry..... Yet again.... Its all about my bad point u pick up..... I am always so freaking bad.....
When in army when I saw things. She may like.... I buy and give it to her. In my Facebook. I wrote for her. I feeling and appreciate what she done. Yet all is I have bad habit this that...
Now I have to apologize for what I never even intend to do.
Guess its the same..... I always got misunderstood.
Those words I use "we don own each other" I say it because I didnt hear the reply from her..... If its harsh I am very sorry..... Yet again.... Its all about my bad point u pick up..... I am always so freaking bad.....
When in army when I saw things. She may like.... I buy and give it to her. In my Facebook. I wrote for her. I feeling and appreciate what she done. Yet all is I have bad habit this that...
Now I have to apologize for what I never even intend to do.
Guess its the same..... I always got misunderstood.
240614 1325hrs
Tender loving care?..... I did to a girl.... I got so damn hurt...... Isnt it the same?..... U got betray.... Thats y u need more time to open up..... What more I did not betray u....
Its a tragic end...... "Punny little human".... That can be something I can be faulted.... Sigh.... Every weak point I have is what u cannot accept..... Yet I become the victim of victim..... I didnt know.... Not that I don care.... Yet I have to be responsible for what I have that is accumilated in me all these years.....
After ah chang is gone..... My heart never in one day have peace....
Its a tragic end...... "Punny little human".... That can be something I can be faulted.... Sigh.... Every weak point I have is what u cannot accept..... Yet I become the victim of victim..... I didnt know.... Not that I don care.... Yet I have to be responsible for what I have that is accumilated in me all these years.....
After ah chang is gone..... My heart never in one day have peace....
240614 937hrs
U may not understand when someone just die in front of u. So dear so precious. Yet u cannot even save them. What u can do is only to watch him die.....
Are u able to relate? That excruciating pain is unbearable. Yet I bear it till today...
Are u able to relate? That excruciating pain is unbearable. Yet I bear it till today...
Monday 23 June 2014
230614 1900hrs
Dear dear 想想我们开心的时候。那是真的。我忽略了你是我的不对。 但我没有恶意。给我时间。我会为了我们的未来改进。
就算以后不能在一起了。 改也是一定的。虽然我每次都显得无所谓。但我真的很在乎你。
慢慢我也了解我自己多一点。在最悲伤的时候 我特别的感伤。 我从不因外人的说法而乱了自己。因为就因我的坚持才有现在的我。
U didnt lose ur ability to trust is that u r just confuse. I hope u will recover soon so we can have a good talk again
就算以后不能在一起了。 改也是一定的。虽然我每次都显得无所谓。但我真的很在乎你。
慢慢我也了解我自己多一点。在最悲伤的时候 我特别的感伤。 我从不因外人的说法而乱了自己。因为就因我的坚持才有现在的我。
U didnt lose ur ability to trust is that u r just confuse. I hope u will recover soon so we can have a good talk again
230614 0845hrs
This is what she say
..Like I have said. I really Don have the ability to trust anymore. Thanks for trying hard to salvage our rs. It's good u know how u can better your next rs. Once again I want to emphasise that it is not that I have dig out ur past that I mind. It's past I know, I m looking at our rs as a whole. It's difficult for u to be trying hard to change yourself and as I always say...I Don like to force u do anything u don't like. If I selfless ask u to change your temper, even though it's good for u...I don't think u be happier. I only can say...right now I really have close up...be coz every time I open my heart, every time I try to trust, I get hurt. How u want me to get out of that mental state and start afresh with u? Repeat these whole cycle again? I am not 20plus young girl. I am not game for this.
To be frank, thanks for trying to teach Dalton. But your way isn't working on him. He didn't learn at all with your methods. Instead he is afraid of u.
Everyone around me disapprove me for being with u. Everyone were happy for me to leave u. I am the one who keeps thinking of excuses for how u treat me or y u r like that. They respect me for my choice hence some let me be. Not that it's doesn't hurt me that I am no longer with u. But I am sure u will find someone after me....and someone who maybe don't need to torelate u but can guide u better and make u a better u. Not say u not good...but u r too dominator, self centred, only u can win. U never know why people leave u? These r the reason...I know all this is something u don't like to hear coz if I tell u...its have long trigger your anger and resentment for yourself. U also scold people that they r puni little human remember? U say u respect people but by putting other people down is not right! All other people no matter how.....how not considerate, how bad their doing which r not to ur personal standard or principle. ..its their doing and karma...u can get angry in just that short burst because they did something which u think they shouldn't. ...don't u find ridiculous?
Really uncle ong advice u to not making so high expectation on everyone. Did the msg gets to u? No I don't think so. Uncle poh said something about u which u find insulted u remember? But really...I wanted to ask u...people wouldn't out of kpo say these kind of comment to u. He already ask u Don feel offended for what he is going to say. Yes, not 100% true but he mean good and y would he say so is becoz of how u project yourself. And once again I do know, u don't need to care what other people thinks about u. U do whatever u like, no one in the world can tell u what to do....how to live your life and all. But did u think, only those who care for u ...concern for u ....will then say so much to u.
I am being drawn into your negative mind set. My postive is not powerful enough or i should I am too weak to help u. I didn't want to penalise u off your good. U r good and kind but yet so devilish. But this is u. I dunno anyone even tell u all these before. But these are the things which push all your loves one away....really.
That day my intention was to tell your sis or rather thinking whether there r ways or maybe she can help along for letting her know i suspected the reason for your short temper. I said i suspected u r bipolar but i didn't want to leave you but that time i have really bad blood pressure rushing up when u were there throwing temper. That's all i told her.
I even have the need to seek help as i felt no senses of secure and depleting faith in u. I dig up your past for i want to understand u more....i want to know y were u like that or what kind of person u really are. How can i change myself to get your attention, how can I avoid certain topic of speech to not trigger u angry...but the more I try...The more tired I am. I can say I really love u a lot no matter how many people beside me, no one was agreedable that I am with u. I was still holding on to that little hope I have left. But u blow it. My last wire snapped.
I told u I warn my ex hus b4 not to betray me. End up he took me as a fool and continue his mistakes. Till today now. He still have rs problems, he still flirts. What's make u think u can change for the better and change for good? Have u really learn anything from your past rs? Y r u always in that cycle and just keep wasting your life away.
It's must be very hard for u. For those above I now mention may be something u known of or someone told u before ...or...no one ever tell u before be coz u will get angry before they even gets the message to u.
All this came natural from my heart just to tell u....and not belittle u or to tell u what u should do in your life. U should know my expectations of u is that minimum. Becoz I once loved u.
..Like I have said. I really Don have the ability to trust anymore. Thanks for trying hard to salvage our rs. It's good u know how u can better your next rs. Once again I want to emphasise that it is not that I have dig out ur past that I mind. It's past I know, I m looking at our rs as a whole. It's difficult for u to be trying hard to change yourself and as I always say...I Don like to force u do anything u don't like. If I selfless ask u to change your temper, even though it's good for u...I don't think u be happier. I only can say...right now I really have close up...be coz every time I open my heart, every time I try to trust, I get hurt. How u want me to get out of that mental state and start afresh with u? Repeat these whole cycle again? I am not 20plus young girl. I am not game for this.
To be frank, thanks for trying to teach Dalton. But your way isn't working on him. He didn't learn at all with your methods. Instead he is afraid of u.
Everyone around me disapprove me for being with u. Everyone were happy for me to leave u. I am the one who keeps thinking of excuses for how u treat me or y u r like that. They respect me for my choice hence some let me be. Not that it's doesn't hurt me that I am no longer with u. But I am sure u will find someone after me....and someone who maybe don't need to torelate u but can guide u better and make u a better u. Not say u not good...but u r too dominator, self centred, only u can win. U never know why people leave u? These r the reason...I know all this is something u don't like to hear coz if I tell u...its have long trigger your anger and resentment for yourself. U also scold people that they r puni little human remember? U say u respect people but by putting other people down is not right! All other people no matter how.....how not considerate, how bad their doing which r not to ur personal standard or principle. ..its their doing and karma...u can get angry in just that short burst because they did something which u think they shouldn't. ...don't u find ridiculous?
Really uncle ong advice u to not making so high expectation on everyone. Did the msg gets to u? No I don't think so. Uncle poh said something about u which u find insulted u remember? But really...I wanted to ask u...people wouldn't out of kpo say these kind of comment to u. He already ask u Don feel offended for what he is going to say. Yes, not 100% true but he mean good and y would he say so is becoz of how u project yourself. And once again I do know, u don't need to care what other people thinks about u. U do whatever u like, no one in the world can tell u what to do....how to live your life and all. But did u think, only those who care for u ...concern for u ....will then say so much to u.
I am being drawn into your negative mind set. My postive is not powerful enough or i should I am too weak to help u. I didn't want to penalise u off your good. U r good and kind but yet so devilish. But this is u. I dunno anyone even tell u all these before. But these are the things which push all your loves one away....really.
That day my intention was to tell your sis or rather thinking whether there r ways or maybe she can help along for letting her know i suspected the reason for your short temper. I said i suspected u r bipolar but i didn't want to leave you but that time i have really bad blood pressure rushing up when u were there throwing temper. That's all i told her.
I even have the need to seek help as i felt no senses of secure and depleting faith in u. I dig up your past for i want to understand u more....i want to know y were u like that or what kind of person u really are. How can i change myself to get your attention, how can I avoid certain topic of speech to not trigger u angry...but the more I try...The more tired I am. I can say I really love u a lot no matter how many people beside me, no one was agreedable that I am with u. I was still holding on to that little hope I have left. But u blow it. My last wire snapped.
I told u I warn my ex hus b4 not to betray me. End up he took me as a fool and continue his mistakes. Till today now. He still have rs problems, he still flirts. What's make u think u can change for the better and change for good? Have u really learn anything from your past rs? Y r u always in that cycle and just keep wasting your life away.
It's must be very hard for u. For those above I now mention may be something u known of or someone told u before ...or...no one ever tell u before be coz u will get angry before they even gets the message to u.
All this came natural from my heart just to tell u....and not belittle u or to tell u what u should do in your life. U should know my expectations of u is that minimum. Becoz I once loved u.
Sunday 22 June 2014
220614 1251hrs
当我真的改了。 你可能也不在了。 谢谢你对我的一切。给我的一切. 我将会把它收藏在心的莫个角落。我是真的那么爱你。 对不起. 谢谢。我的将来我会走的好。 你也会一样。 ：） loving u is such a wonderful thing. But very sadly I don have much time. At least now I know how I should move on. I know what I should take note. What I should be sensitive enough. 谢谢你的揉情 爱情。everyone kills me using my anger. But u are the only one that pointed out to me I am sick. I really apprecaite that. Thats why u are that special.
To my love doreen peng shi yun
To my love doreen peng shi yun
220614 0911hrs
everytime my hand phone rings when she is not around. I am so happy because i knew it was her. but, now, all was my friend comforting me. i don think i will boat anymore. those memories are hers and hers alone.
You decided it. What we have build, ended it just because you think you should be doing it like this? saying i being childish? we are both adult and what we should be is to settle the problem then we move on. Not by saying how the problem affected me so we should stop.
You decided it. What we have build, ended it just because you think you should be doing it like this? saying i being childish? we are both adult and what we should be is to settle the problem then we move on. Not by saying how the problem affected me so we should stop.
Saturday 21 June 2014
210614 0520hrs
She took down all the photo and the relationship status. Looks like it. Ok exactly the same. Woman...... I guess nothing much I can do. If this is the way it is. Im starting to feel regret for being such an idiot. Caring for the kids and thinking hard for the future. Yet at the end..... Deep in me I knew it wont end here.
Friday 20 June 2014
200614 1523hrs
Y it always back to the same old shit. I have enough.... Getting angry and delusional. What the fuck is wrong!!!!!. Never mind then have it ur way. U are feeling drain... What about me??? Well then fuck it. I don need you.
I will just live the life I am. After so long liao u still cannot understand me. Thats ok. I will get going.
U stay happy and look for another part of u. I wont interfere.
I will just live the life I am. After so long liao u still cannot understand me. Thats ok. I will get going.
U stay happy and look for another part of u. I wont interfere.
Friday 17 January 2014
170114 2043hrs
Its been very heart breaking. To see u like this. I have lost it all..... Right now as I speak. The inbearable gravity pull in my heart look like never end. Every moment I was sitting on the chair smoking playing my games, at the corner of my eyes, I keep seeing u. As I look to that direction. U r not there. Ah cang, it is me that I have fail to protect u, and not caring enough for u. I love u so much that, I give my all to u. Yet I never did enough. My lord, this very gift little cute creature u have given me. Words cannot express it. Nothing on earth can compare this gift u gave me. I am forever grateful and thankful. My lord please take good care of him. If he comes back to you. Tell him I love him a lot. And I will look for him if I ever goes to heaven. My lord, please I beg of you.
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