Monday 9 November 2015

091115 1549hrs

I am damn fucking happy!!!! i have a new cat name heero! on last friday 061115 he arrived my place around 2030Hrs. Then we proceed to some photo taking !!!! very cute little animal God have created!!! I love you God.

Now he is here, ah chang ashes is still placed beside my bed. The first night i cried because i really felt i didnt give ah chang a good life. Then my dear sayang me. i felt so hopeless when i cannot help or saved ah chang. The reason i  play rc helicopter is coz i make a promise to ah chang i will carry on. now i am actually selling most of my heli. hopefully, all will be good.


Friday 4 September 2015

040915 1105Hrs

Im am sadden by the fact of my country upcoming election. Freaking damn stupid opposition. Don lie to me right at my face!!! remember!!!! you are lucky because LKY and his A-team build singapore!!!! you don fuck with that!!!! you are nothing!!!! you think you are able to rule and become singapore gov? let me tell you, you are nothing but a stupid over grown lizard!!!! you think is easy to lead?? you think is easy to promise?

Opposition, please wake up your fucking stupid idea. what kind or type of changes you guys want? tell me!!!! stupid fool you cannot even know what changes you guys wanted and keep talking about change? what? foreigner taking your job? ok then, you go wash toilet, you go clean the table, you go become construction worker. do you want that? if not you fucking shut the fuck up!!!

Singaporean, i wont beg you guys to vote for who and who, i just don wanna to see my country in chaos. don fuck with what our fore father have work out and build.

Opposition!!! do you really think you have what it takes to be gov? then i suggest you find a piece of land and then declare independent. see if you can make it.. don take what others have already build then you wanna snatch away!!!!!. stupid

Lastly, opposition, you don have what it takes to beat GOV.

Saturday 4 July 2015

040715 1821hrs

I'm feeling so down. I don know what is it. Well, just felt betray? Or something else? I don't know.... I don't know what should I feel. Maybe how should I feel?

A week have passed, since me and my gf didn't talk to each other much. Well I guess that is it? My Canada friend visited singapore, but guess who he visited? My ex gf Josephine and family. Wow, just wow. Well maybe I didn't let it go? Or maybe I am jealous? I really don't know.

I didn't think too much of my gf and our problem. Coz I am tired and max out from this unstable relationship. I wouldn't want to have things like this happened. Any argument becomes a subject for her to compromise our relationship, break up.

It's so heart breating, I told her she left me with that feeling twice. Yet I don't know if she is even listening. I am just tired.
now that is the 3rd time now. I don't know if I can go on once again. God, I cry out to u, I need you. Help me.... Amen

Thursday 25 June 2015

250615 1726hrs

well, many things happened. I'm getting a house finally. damn happy about it. yet the relationship is very unstable. look here, im not selfish like others say. but yet most of the time, when things happened you always wanted to bait out. so this time i let you choose no need to ask me i agree or not. i did try to change to a better person, but you on the other hand, is giving me the feeling of, Thats not good enough. i have to think like this or like that.

going thru all this wasnt easy, i didnt even say that you have no right. did i say i will copy the key to you? yet you choose to be thinking on the other way itself. what more can i say. i can tell you this, you are saying this for the 3rd time. and it really hurt me quite a bit.


To let you know, you never did understand me to a certain degree. what you know is that, i have to be understanding to how you felt and i have to deal with it. no matter what my condition is. That really turn me away sometime. Almost all women have problem with me and i don know why. perhap i really cannot get married again. coz i am so afraid of it after my first failed marriage. but, anyway, if this is my fate i will accept it, and move forward again.

Last but not least, if every single time we argue about things or something else, your reaction is saying maybe i should leave you alone. tell you honestly this sentences hurt fucking big time. the relationship will not be stable if this happen almost all the time.

if what you think that is the best idea of getting message across. then i have no say.


Saturday 16 May 2015

160515 0325hrs

today one of my church friend talk to me, the way he talk I can feel that he is a practical person. I really hate what he said. Please come on, u should understand there's a limitation to what a person can do. Telling me I don care u have to get it done. Please u r a Fucking fool. Even the world smartest person also have things he don know, how can u say such unfair statement?

Fuck to you bro, really and when I'm trying to explain to u, u keep saying ur point and u don care about what I said. Then I won't give u face. When do u think I must listen to u and u not listening to me? Fuck you!!!!!!! 

Recently I'm so down emotionally yet no one is here for me. I really felt something is ending, sigh be it if I make a decision. FamilY all along not been supportive. Not matter what u do or did. You won't feel appreciated. I felt it is hurtful. I am damn happy that I gonna have a house. But.....

Human people, I don know how long I could take it before I snap.

My heart keep losing hope.... God please renew me. I couldn't just give up. Right now I am so extremely sad and down. But even my close and love ones didn't feel something is not right with me... 
Yet I'm always giving in to a certain extent.... How long will this last ?

Saturday 28 February 2015

280215 1937hrs

无向,无心,何去矣。

误以,自忍,无其同。

疼哉,伤哉,何处放。

忍伤,承伤,悲哉也。

心善,心呼,被掩其。

人其误,本内累。