Loving unconditionally is not easy, and not hard either.... it is do you really love? meaning is love in you? do you accept the person you love as a whole. Love never fail.... love forgive... love has no right or wrong....
LOVE is the most powerful thing that God give to us :)
after Saturday bb, today i know i going to meet you i feel very different my heart was like i cannot wait to see you.... it keep pumping :) fast :)
Tuesday 27 March 2012
Monday 26 March 2012
260312 1049Hrs
BB is giving me full heart lo :)YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111
haha i very happy coz i feel bb change :) ...... hug hug bb :)
haha i very happy coz i feel bb change :) ...... hug hug bb :)
Friday 23 March 2012
230312 1916Hrs
Why I cannot surpress this feeling? Grrrr...... Guess tonight will be very hard me.....
...............1732hrs
love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love....... hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt..... if you read it out love and hurt together it become LOVER or Love Her....
very vex... cannot vent anywhere... sigh..... have to keep the pressure till next month..... hope and wish i wont blow off..... gr.... the most powerful explosion is not a nuclear strike. but its from a heart. when you are heart broken,..... NONE ON THIS EARTH HEAR YOU. only you hear it yourself and have to deal with it yourself.........
when i hurt you... i would do whatever it takes to make you feel better.... but guess this is how you can see how deep the love is.....
very vex... cannot vent anywhere... sigh..... have to keep the pressure till next month..... hope and wish i wont blow off..... gr.... the most powerful explosion is not a nuclear strike. but its from a heart. when you are heart broken,..... NONE ON THIS EARTH HEAR YOU. only you hear it yourself and have to deal with it yourself.........
when i hurt you... i would do whatever it takes to make you feel better.... but guess this is how you can see how deep the love is.....
230312 1634Hrs
I want to hold you till my fear subsides..... can i? guess not coz i am smelly dirty guy.....
weird feeling???? :( ............ can i love you the way you are in jan??? can i hold you??? ...... why the time wont stop there? thats where i wanted to be..... but high level people cannot understand...... :( .......
weird feeling???? :( ............ can i love you the way you are in jan??? can i hold you??? ...... why the time wont stop there? thats where i wanted to be..... but high level people cannot understand...... :( .......
230312 1622Hrs
Heavy heart.... sad.... mode = deteriorating.....
was happily waiting for weekend, now = mode = heavy heart...
Poor.... negative thinking...= mode = childish....
smoking.... cutting down lots = mode = doing it....
study... = mode = late.... = start...
was happily waiting for weekend, now = mode = heavy heart...
Poor.... negative thinking...= mode = childish....
smoking.... cutting down lots = mode = doing it....
study... = mode = late.... = start...
130312 1600hrs
One day the boy proposed her. Then the girl said, “listen! your monthly salary is my daily hand expenses. Should I be involved with you? How could you thought that? I will never love you. So, forget me ‘n get engaged with someone else of your level.”
But somehow the boy could not forget her so easily.
10 years later.
One day they became face to face in a shopping center. The lady said, “Hey! you! How are you? Now I’m married. Do you know how much is my husband’s salary? Rs. 2 lac per month! Can you imagine? ‘n he is also very smart.”
The guy’s eyes got wet with tear by hearing those words.
After few minutes her husband came before the lady could say something to the guy, her husband started to say by seeing the guy.
“Sir! You here? Meet my wife.” Then he said to her wife, “I’m going to assist a project of sir, which is of Rs. 200 crore. ‘n do u know a fact? Sir loved a girl but he didn’t get her. That’s why still he is unmarried. How much lucky the girl was. Isn’t it? Now a days who can love like that way?”
Moral: Life is not so short. So, don’t be so proud of yourself and damn others. Situations change with time. Every one should respect others love.
But somehow the boy could not forget her so easily.
10 years later.
One day they became face to face in a shopping center. The lady said, “Hey! you! How are you? Now I’m married. Do you know how much is my husband’s salary? Rs. 2 lac per month! Can you imagine? ‘n he is also very smart.”
The guy’s eyes got wet with tear by hearing those words.
After few minutes her husband came before the lady could say something to the guy, her husband started to say by seeing the guy.
“Sir! You here? Meet my wife.” Then he said to her wife, “I’m going to assist a project of sir, which is of Rs. 200 crore. ‘n do u know a fact? Sir loved a girl but he didn’t get her. That’s why still he is unmarried. How much lucky the girl was. Isn’t it? Now a days who can love like that way?”
Moral: Life is not so short. So, don’t be so proud of yourself and damn others. Situations change with time. Every one should respect others love.
230312 1339Hrs
It is just too hard..... really just too hard......
what should i do????
sigh................
what should i do????
sigh................
230312 1322Hrs
I have finish configure 5 switch 24 port.... heh heh..... with 20 pc yes :) nothing to be proud there's still a lot more to come be prepare... :)
i get knock down, but i get up again, you'll never gonna keep me down.....
argh no game???? today friday WAH...................................................................................................................................
what the hell...... i brought ninja gaiden 3 but ps3 spoil WAH LAU EH.... argh,..,.,.,,.,.,.,.,., freaking angry..... i wanna go out play..... where are all my friend when i need one? &$#^$*(&^ never i will play AVP in my laptop :)
i get knock down, but i get up again, you'll never gonna keep me down.....
argh no game???? today friday WAH...................................................................................................................................
what the hell...... i brought ninja gaiden 3 but ps3 spoil WAH LAU EH.... argh,..,.,.,,.,.,.,.,., freaking angry..... i wanna go out play..... where are all my friend when i need one? &$#^$*(&^ never i will play AVP in my laptop :)
230312 1303hrs
It not offending bb you don realise its HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you are always too busy to say I Miss You
you are always too busy to say sayang u
you are always too busy to say hug you
you are always too busy to say LOVE YOU
today i want to say to you bb... i will take whatever you say.... cause my trial will be over.....but for how long i don know...... whatever happened.... i will take it as a man of sins... i hurt people and getting hurt is what i get also......
God pls help me to overcome this as i know you see my heart are true...
for now i will try not to ask her anything or want her say anything....
God just let her be herself.....
you are always too busy to say I Miss You
you are always too busy to say sayang u
you are always too busy to say hug you
you are always too busy to say LOVE YOU
today i want to say to you bb... i will take whatever you say.... cause my trial will be over.....but for how long i don know...... whatever happened.... i will take it as a man of sins... i hurt people and getting hurt is what i get also......
God pls help me to overcome this as i know you see my heart are true...
for now i will try not to ask her anything or want her say anything....
God just let her be herself.....
230312 1243Hrs
with u no money no petrol no cash card, all time want stay inside room.....
hurtful words..... shui bian wo?..... ok fine
i didnt get the fact? you assume everything your way....
what so wrong about me? poor? i am not poor in heart, i am not poor with the one i love....
not a sorry from you. still carry on your pride? go ahead......
if you love someone, put it in a circle rather than your heart, cause heart can be broken, but circle will not, it will keep going on and on....
hurtful words..... shui bian wo?..... ok fine
i didnt get the fact? you assume everything your way....
what so wrong about me? poor? i am not poor in heart, i am not poor with the one i love....
not a sorry from you. still carry on your pride? go ahead......
if you love someone, put it in a circle rather than your heart, cause heart can be broken, but circle will not, it will keep going on and on....
230312 1118Hrs
Recently i study CCNA, i been practicing the command line for configuring switches... now i can easily do a basic configuring of switches.. i am happy... i think this is what i wanna do... sigh... why i didnt think of that earlier.... today i test myself...
i have 5 2950/24 port switch and each 6 pc connecting to each switch :)......
i have a feeling i am going to climb high. in the case i can go beyond what my PHD brother doing.... in 3 to 5 years time... GOD pls check my intention not wanting to show off... but to help in whatever way i can...
i really do know i will succeed.... not matter what comes in my face i will settle it with the power of GOD.... in me i know i can....
i think i should not expect anything from anyone now.... coz i feel the gravity pull in my heart.........
i have 5 2950/24 port switch and each 6 pc connecting to each switch :)......
i have a feeling i am going to climb high. in the case i can go beyond what my PHD brother doing.... in 3 to 5 years time... GOD pls check my intention not wanting to show off... but to help in whatever way i can...
i really do know i will succeed.... not matter what comes in my face i will settle it with the power of GOD.... in me i know i can....
i think i should not expect anything from anyone now.... coz i feel the gravity pull in my heart.........
230312 1016Hrs
BB go to ikea with david... i happy she called me after that... but later when she reach home.... after doing all her stuff.... she whatsapp me good night muach muach...
coz i ask her if she is sleeping.... i thought we will call each other talk to each other before sleep.... well never mind.... just now in ym... bb say i have to ask or do something if i want something.... er.....
i got a powerful dream yesterday..... related to bb mom and poh poh.... i thought i wanted to tell bb... guess for now i keep it first...............................................................
my ps3 &$%$#%$# spoil argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have no where to vent my anger if im angry.... or stress or DL....thats my only revenue..... people will only see its a waste of time playing game, but thats my only entertainment.... BB go ikea why don ask me go? i know i don have ikea card... BB like discount..... but its a way to see each other and build our emotional parts right??? i ask bb when her flight back to medan.... friday afternoon... i wanted to send her but she say i working and office people can send her..... didnt you know i wanted to see you??? its ok.... coming back tuesday.. she say office people can pick her up and can straight to work.....
why it all keep getting worst..... am i thinking negatively??? this stupid trial......
coz i ask her if she is sleeping.... i thought we will call each other talk to each other before sleep.... well never mind.... just now in ym... bb say i have to ask or do something if i want something.... er.....
i got a powerful dream yesterday..... related to bb mom and poh poh.... i thought i wanted to tell bb... guess for now i keep it first...............................................................
my ps3 &$%$#%$# spoil argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have no where to vent my anger if im angry.... or stress or DL....thats my only revenue..... people will only see its a waste of time playing game, but thats my only entertainment.... BB go ikea why don ask me go? i know i don have ikea card... BB like discount..... but its a way to see each other and build our emotional parts right??? i ask bb when her flight back to medan.... friday afternoon... i wanted to send her but she say i working and office people can send her..... didnt you know i wanted to see you??? its ok.... coming back tuesday.. she say office people can pick her up and can straight to work.....
why it all keep getting worst..... am i thinking negatively??? this stupid trial......
Monday 19 March 2012
190312 1334Hrs
Last friday, i brought bb to fly around singapore :) bb happy and bb scare haha... turbulence.... for the first time bb touch the cloud and fly in private plane... :) i also brought bb a necklace... i pass it to her in the plane :)
that day bb ask me if i want her to stay over at my place :)..... i am so happy yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! then sat we went to bugis to have her laptop lcd change and bb shopping haha :)
bb it is really great and i am happy that i open my eye first person is you...:) i know its not easy for you :) but i love it so much :) haha :) thanks bb :) bb also buy me a G shock. i love that watch :) hug bb :)
pray that everything go smoothly :) for this, by this year should be able to buy house :) i must save :) bb hold my hand and together we move on and fight for what it is for us :)
that day bb ask me if i want her to stay over at my place :)..... i am so happy yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! then sat we went to bugis to have her laptop lcd change and bb shopping haha :)
bb it is really great and i am happy that i open my eye first person is you...:) i know its not easy for you :) but i love it so much :) haha :) thanks bb :) bb also buy me a G shock. i love that watch :) hug bb :)
pray that everything go smoothly :) for this, by this year should be able to buy house :) i must save :) bb hold my hand and together we move on and fight for what it is for us :)
Friday 16 March 2012
160312 0002Hrs
I am starting my CCNA yes....!!!!!! hahaha i am going to be famous.... i will earn lots and lots more for mine and bb future.... :)
Thursday 15 March 2012
150312 2329Hrs
bb say she little bit bore of the relationship.... feeling lost le.....
Bao Bei, Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance ... love will last forever (1 Corinthians 13:4–8a)
i post it once in your Face book.... I would dare say God is with us all along. he will give us strength and make a way for us :)
Love you so much Bao Bei
Bao Bei, Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance ... love will last forever (1 Corinthians 13:4–8a)
i post it once in your Face book.... I would dare say God is with us all along. he will give us strength and make a way for us :)
Love you so much Bao Bei
150312 1200hrs
bb and i was talking yesterday.... bb say will try to give full heart... :) yay!!!!! BB i wanna tell you this, is that no matter you can or not is not i want to see.... is i wanna let you know i love who you are.... so therefor i wish your full heart.... me too need change.... we do it together and we will make it... even if we fail bb.... we can always try again and again and again... :) as long as we don give up on each other :) love bb :)
Wednesday 14 March 2012
140312 0113Hrs
bb wrote on my wall i brought special meaning to her life... :) during my birthday :) i miss that...
140312 0046hrs
bb and me argue again.....she know i want this relationship badly....she don want to hurt me.....
(if she have a better choice is she leaving?) i don know but if that happened.... i will have to take it hard.... and i will seal my heart never give away again...
shi wo dong le zhen qing wang bu liao ni... shi fu ni ren jiu yuan yi hui in zhuan yi...
love you bb :)
(if she have a better choice is she leaving?) i don know but if that happened.... i will have to take it hard.... and i will seal my heart never give away again...
shi wo dong le zhen qing wang bu liao ni... shi fu ni ren jiu yuan yi hui in zhuan yi...
love you bb :)
Tuesday 13 March 2012
130312 2136Hrs
missing u is such a painful thing.... why do u have to doubt urself? i cannot understand....aren't we are that good? isnt us good enough?
bb pls let go the wall you build recently.... lets us love each other can we? like i say to you... bb i know you have given your heart to the wrong man before.... but with me i do not know how to sweet talk.... with me you should know that i have give you my full heart... i wish your full heart with me :) bb we stand together and fight ok?
we went to cole bar you say you love your weekend like this.... i love that too you know.... i never wanted to let you go.... bb pls release your defenses, and i assure you will never ever regret... but bb if you continue to built the wall..... i cannot do anything else.
bb be strong.... DL is always here.... don forget that.... but DL also need someone to show love.... bb show DL more love can?..... :)
bb pls let go the wall you build recently.... lets us love each other can we? like i say to you... bb i know you have given your heart to the wrong man before.... but with me i do not know how to sweet talk.... with me you should know that i have give you my full heart... i wish your full heart with me :) bb we stand together and fight ok?
we went to cole bar you say you love your weekend like this.... i love that too you know.... i never wanted to let you go.... bb pls release your defenses, and i assure you will never ever regret... but bb if you continue to built the wall..... i cannot do anything else.
bb be strong.... DL is always here.... don forget that.... but DL also need someone to show love.... bb show DL more love can?..... :)
Monday 12 March 2012
120312 2303hrs
If my love is all i have to give.... will you still love me??...... many many thing happened.... only when you are with me i feel so comfortable and feel very bless..... i miss those night when i hug you sleep.... but for now it wont happened again.... i am very lost.... you didnt know this, when you are deep in your sleep i woke up and see you sleep so peacefully.... i love that so much... i feel coz i am beside you.. you feel very safe....
but somehow you let me have that feeling, i have become weaker.... but as a knight i am.... the alloy i wore is sturdy enough to protect you from any harm.... i guess the alloy i wear.... keep me safe from something....
whatever misfortune happened to me i don care and i don mind.... as long the first thing i open my eye i see you, everything vanish into the air..... but its not going to happened already.... :( helmet on... keep negative thoughts away.... thats the best i can do....
but somehow you let me have that feeling, i have become weaker.... but as a knight i am.... the alloy i wore is sturdy enough to protect you from any harm.... i guess the alloy i wear.... keep me safe from something....
whatever misfortune happened to me i don care and i don mind.... as long the first thing i open my eye i see you, everything vanish into the air..... but its not going to happened already.... :( helmet on... keep negative thoughts away.... thats the best i can do....
120312 2243hrs
Even when i wanted to sms you, i also afraid that you busy don want to disturb you... i will keep waiting...... holding your hand is one of the greatest thing i ever had.... :) but the pain of missing you is what i cannot take..... now worst i cannot even go your house..... everyone on earth know we broke up. but though not officially.... i feel like i am living my life in the shadow... jian bu de guang.... :( maybe you don love me that deep yet... but i will hold on..... seeing things like this.... i don know how long more i could take..... alvin, god mom nancy, my friend char, miriam, been praying for us bb :) for our relationship :) i bound our love with jesus :) i wont let go.... but recently my grip been loosing power..... no don let it happen.....
if you can remember, i told you my strength comes love, any type of love. from you, God, friends.... recently i don know who i can talk to anymore...... i am losing that grip.... i don want it to happen....
if you can remember, i told you my strength comes love, any type of love. from you, God, friends.... recently i don know who i can talk to anymore...... i am losing that grip.... i don want it to happen....
120312 2237hrs
if you ever love someone so deep.... if you ever miss someone till it hurt...... if you ever....... where are all my friend when i need them? guess i will be alone.... i don want to go back to my old friend..... i am sadden :( what the hell.... confuse...
120312 2225hrs
after so many conversation.... bb still don understand... :( i wont remind you le.... seem like u are always busy and only till the time you left before sleep then have time for me..... sigh.... i will not be having lots time bb..... carry on your busyness ba.... if everything goes smoothly i will start my course next week le...
the feeling of missing someone is so painful..... i will try to cut down that..... didnt we say even busy try saying things like missing each other? guess it wont happened.... i will hide it away.... bb....
next week i will be starting my course lo... i am scare coz i lost something but .... the test is two on one paper... i am worry.... now even worst.... God pls give me strength.... :(...
i will try to make it.... God pls renew me :)
the feeling of missing someone is so painful..... i will try to cut down that..... didnt we say even busy try saying things like missing each other? guess it wont happened.... i will hide it away.... bb....
next week i will be starting my course lo... i am scare coz i lost something but .... the test is two on one paper... i am worry.... now even worst.... God pls give me strength.... :(...
i will try to make it.... God pls renew me :)
Sunday 11 March 2012
110312 2223Hrs
bao bei suddenly say forget about whatever she say about the expectation..... i don know why..... but something amiss...
Bao bei.... i can only say you really do not understand the suffering of me missing you..... but i guess if i go through this trial, you will be protected...
every moment i think and miss you... wanting you to say you miss me.... it is so very hard for that..... slowly i am trying to take it and swallow it down my throat... in my heart i was crying most of the time.... coz i wanted to hear from you without asking you.... :(
Bao bei.... i can only say you really do not understand the suffering of me missing you..... but i guess if i go through this trial, you will be protected...
every moment i think and miss you... wanting you to say you miss me.... it is so very hard for that..... slowly i am trying to take it and swallow it down my throat... in my heart i was crying most of the time.... coz i wanted to hear from you without asking you.... :(
Friday 9 March 2012
090312 1253Hrs
i helping bao bei to repair laptop hahah.... i surely know whats up with that :)... thanks
090312 0027Hrs
A million words cannot express my feeling towards you bao bei..... wo ai ni shi zhen xin zhen yi. i know why you say that cause you feel hurt when i am not myself.... or because you don wanna hear i always say that i give in this and that..... Bao bei stop smoking is what i have promise you..... i know i fail but in the God name i will succeed... i cannot let you see instant result but i know you can feel my purest heart to you....
i love my birthday this year the happiest BD ever in my life :)... bao bei remember on jan 27 i was very sick and was in your house? you took care of me and i feel that love you have.... and during the second time i was sick you say sorry because you cannot take care of me like you did last time...
in my heart i wish i could stop the time on 27 jan 2012 i want to be sick like this so i can lay in your arms feel all your love :) then you say i mad who wish to be sick.. na ge feng kuang de ren shi wo.... i wanna hug you foever in my arm till my last breath.... bao bei wo ai ni..... :)
i love my birthday this year the happiest BD ever in my life :)... bao bei remember on jan 27 i was very sick and was in your house? you took care of me and i feel that love you have.... and during the second time i was sick you say sorry because you cannot take care of me like you did last time...
in my heart i wish i could stop the time on 27 jan 2012 i want to be sick like this so i can lay in your arms feel all your love :) then you say i mad who wish to be sick.. na ge feng kuang de ren shi wo.... i wanna hug you foever in my arm till my last breath.... bao bei wo ai ni..... :)
Thursday 8 March 2012
080312 1550Hrs
Why after every effort I do still feel like not enough? I just want her to be happy but she everytime Don feel what i am doing for her? It's ok jack..... Do whatever u can do.... Like Jesus a lot ppl don know him but he die for us even ppl he don know too. So jack if god love u so much willing to give his only son. Who r u that because u just hurt and give up? Didn't Jesus suffer more than u? Didn't he is as a human got torture? But he choose to die for us... God love is so great. Didn't u say u slowly understand what love is? Didn't u say love is unconditional like god? So why are u feel hurt? U should be glad that god is in u. Suffering is nothing and at the end of days u wi be reward ....
Thank u lord :)
Thank u lord :)
Tuesday 6 March 2012
060312 2337hrs
i cannot understand till now why the face book thingy...... as i say i will take it.... but why i still feel pain..... sigh...
060312 2337hrs
sigh... didnt we say must sensitive towards each other?.. u were too busy watching your drama... no kiss no good night... sigh... whatever you want..........
060312 1905Hrs
i don know why .... i feel very heavy and very unstable... i wish i could hold you in my arm forever.... never wanna let you go... but you choose still to go with what you think it is...
it pain me bb..... really pain me.... when i needed you the most i have to suppress the feeling.... it is so painful and i cannot tell you just why....
i really really love you to a extend i have never in my life i give before..... with that i feel i still could not touch your heart.... ru guo you yi tian, ni fa xian le wo de xin.... ni hai hui jian ci ni de xiang fa ma? wo hui fo de dao ni de zhen xin ma?.....
i have set you in my life, i got no intention to let you out, but bb don let me think otherwise... pls know this, u say u will learn to understand me... but i guess you fall back on that....
it pain me bb..... really pain me.... when i needed you the most i have to suppress the feeling.... it is so painful and i cannot tell you just why....
i really really love you to a extend i have never in my life i give before..... with that i feel i still could not touch your heart.... ru guo you yi tian, ni fa xian le wo de xin.... ni hai hui jian ci ni de xiang fa ma? wo hui fo de dao ni de zhen xin ma?.....
i have set you in my life, i got no intention to let you out, but bb don let me think otherwise... pls know this, u say u will learn to understand me... but i guess you fall back on that....
Monday 5 March 2012
050312 1008Hrs
Whatever it is..... if this is what you want... believe me you have not gone through the worst yet.... that pain will change you.... and when you realise..... u will have a very hard time accepting it. by then you will know why.....
i am so badly wounded..... you don know coz in you there are the old me.... we were so good remember? out of the sudden you change..... our stand is never even fought.... it was given up in the begining..... but you have a new stand..... i have to swallow it.... if not i will face the end like what you decide.... did i force you? or did i make you do the thing you never like?..... maybe you don know this yet but, i am a knight... i have a sword and shield and armor..... from the past i have my sword and shield broken.... all left with my armor...
and with you i protect you with every bit of my life and my armor.... with my bare fist.... and all i have... that armor have been break by you which you don know...... i have said before... if this armor break.... trust me i wont even survive.... why do you have to kill me like this? now the armor is crack and i have been fixing it.... in my heart i never wanted for it to be crack or break.... i love you really much and deep.... remember i empower that right to you? in hope you wont hurt me.... but in fact you did it.... on 1st march.... u really don know how much i was hurt...
do you understand my hurt.... where it came from and how it can be worst? somehow i feel you understand.... but you still go on with your principle and your way of doing..... mine was never even consider....
i am so badly wounded..... you don know coz in you there are the old me.... we were so good remember? out of the sudden you change..... our stand is never even fought.... it was given up in the begining..... but you have a new stand..... i have to swallow it.... if not i will face the end like what you decide.... did i force you? or did i make you do the thing you never like?..... maybe you don know this yet but, i am a knight... i have a sword and shield and armor..... from the past i have my sword and shield broken.... all left with my armor...
and with you i protect you with every bit of my life and my armor.... with my bare fist.... and all i have... that armor have been break by you which you don know...... i have said before... if this armor break.... trust me i wont even survive.... why do you have to kill me like this? now the armor is crack and i have been fixing it.... in my heart i never wanted for it to be crack or break.... i love you really much and deep.... remember i empower that right to you? in hope you wont hurt me.... but in fact you did it.... on 1st march.... u really don know how much i was hurt...
do you understand my hurt.... where it came from and how it can be worst? somehow i feel you understand.... but you still go on with your principle and your way of doing..... mine was never even consider....
Saturday 3 March 2012
030312 0241Hrs
bb yesterday we argue a lot... its about the cruel fact i have to give in and take if not i face a break up.... few days after i say sorry to my ex after hurting her for so many years... she told me something very very very shocking...
she pray to God a prayer.... and that prayer was i will go through her pain faster and change me to a better person..... i accepted that as a man of sin.... thanks from the bottom of my heart i really say thank you...
bb we are at pungol.... we argue again... i am very sadden... i know you will be angry... remember i said to you whatever i do i did that to protect you.... i really mean it... i don want you to suffer like i did... too into something i thought i grown up and taught with... bb hear this.. i will never ever want you to suffer.... as i am now.... i suffer not because of you or your expectation... but god is clearly telling you something... and making me through this trial.... and there's one more trial i will have to go through.... i am so afraid of that trial...
My lord i know it unfair for me asking you of this but let not that trial come true.... it will really kill me and i will not be able to stand.. as i remember i pray to you this for my bb wei xin. if any misfortune thing where to happened on wei xin.... let it be me... amen... for as in now i understood, most thing... but my lord pls don let that horrible trial happen to me. pls my lord i repent to you now....amen...
she pray to God a prayer.... and that prayer was i will go through her pain faster and change me to a better person..... i accepted that as a man of sin.... thanks from the bottom of my heart i really say thank you...
bb we are at pungol.... we argue again... i am very sadden... i know you will be angry... remember i said to you whatever i do i did that to protect you.... i really mean it... i don want you to suffer like i did... too into something i thought i grown up and taught with... bb hear this.. i will never ever want you to suffer.... as i am now.... i suffer not because of you or your expectation... but god is clearly telling you something... and making me through this trial.... and there's one more trial i will have to go through.... i am so afraid of that trial...
My lord i know it unfair for me asking you of this but let not that trial come true.... it will really kill me and i will not be able to stand.. as i remember i pray to you this for my bb wei xin. if any misfortune thing where to happened on wei xin.... let it be me... amen... for as in now i understood, most thing... but my lord pls don let that horrible trial happen to me. pls my lord i repent to you now....amen...
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