Wednesday 23 October 2013

231013 1535hrs

finally i realise, the one closest to you been doing something so terribly wrong. everything just so wrong. i have been hurt so bad this time. i don wanna forgive any longer. i have given too much time for this.

for the last 1 decade, i am living in the world full of deception, lies, i felt so fucking cheated. Hey come on!!! i am a human being just like everyone else, i show respect and love not for you to fucking destroy!!!!! worst of all, the one that hurt me is the one that brought me up. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!!!!!! its breaking inside me so much and painful!!!!!! no more armor no more shield no more sword!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!

I did not give it up, even sister left hopelessly..... i hang in there for so fucking long in hope i am wrong..... now i knew i have to go..... do not look for me. this time even if i die outside. i will never even crawl back home. i don have a fucking home now. i don know what is family. is this the teaching you fucking pass on to your children?  don even talk about and say you guys have not much education!!!!!! because be it you study or not, morally got nothing to do with it!!!! 

you rather listen to the outside people, fuck you!!! i will never want to face you!!! honestly i don fucking know how to face you guys!!!!!! in my life, though i never behave well enough to be of standard. I STILL KNOW WHATS FAMILY HONOR, LOYALTY, i never back down from those.... my heart right now is so fucking painful..... i am crying, weeping while writing this.... things i never will do to others, i least expected that came from you!!!!!   To this stupid family, i am telling you, finally i will live my life in freedom. no hurtful words.... no mean words.... i have a life to go on... and when i return to myself again. don ever think about it. Why the fuck hidden agenda?????? from family!!!!!???? REALLY!!!!??? fuck!!!!!!!!!