today morning when i wake up... i rub my eyes, i feel something wet at the corner of my eyes... TEARS.... now i remember. before i sleep, i have heartache again...... i don know why......
i am not like i use to be.... though at work infron of friends i am normal... but none understand and will not know whats deep down in my heart.... :( i feel kinda a sour feeling something not pain but just cramp feeling in my heart..... i lost my soul in a way....
it takes a long time for me to trust a person. if it comes to a person i love its fixed forever but things happened..... ............... ........... ............. .......... ............. ..............................
giving it up sound easy. but not easy when you really have to. none my buddy is away for like 2 month i am so alone even surrounded by people...... my heart is so freaking weak...... why??????
i want to be strong pls God make my heart strong :) today i play games again..... finally after one month plus i slowly play it back.... i was playing god of war. a game i play way back in 2005. someone brought for me as birthday present. as i play lots of memories came back i stop.....
i cannot play game like i used to be. almost every games i play have many memory with someone......
aching again....... i want to stop this.... i want to go back to my usual life.... i want to be alive once more.
i never though this aching and be so painful.......
i have become lesser me..... i was being put back to my former shadow......
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