on 17 oct 2011, night time. i was drunk once in my whole entire life.... i used to challeng myself and friend, saying i wont be drunk even i don drink, somehow i was drunk that night crying my heart out.... jackson and Ian was with me. i feel very dizzy, clearly i was very clear in my mind though drunk.
i push myself to the limit that how far i go..... true enough, i was awake shortly within one hour of pushing my WILL.... i ask them to question me a lots thing. so i answer according in my current state.. though dizzy heavy in mind. i am able to complete the task i give myself. i remember every single thing i have said that night...
friday night 28 oct 2011, i was out with alvin dinner... i told him that. he was telling me. wo dui bu qi zi ji.. i let down my inner self pushing myself how far i can go..... i was awake by his word... God sorry for all i was trying by myself did not let you come in that night...
i know i will get hurt again, but, i wont live to regret my life.... giving my all to a person a just knew merely in weeks, in human context thats stupidity. but, i know i wont live to regret... i wanted to love her increasingly, somehow when she is gone. in my heart i really miss her. somehow i would say, i really starting to treat her like my own....
nobody in my family seem to understand how i feel. they will always take my elder brother words. but not me, i am not in the position talking making decision. i cannot influence them.
if you see this post, and the lady by the name starting with "SYLVIA" is the one i am mentioning. i want you to live better than anyone else i have come to know. i will pray to God take away all the danger you may encounter in fututre. i will take it from you... let all good things happen to you... :)
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