Tuesday, 24 June 2014
240614 937hrs
U may not understand when someone just die in front of u. So dear so precious. Yet u cannot even save them. What u can do is only to watch him die.....
Are u able to relate? That excruciating pain is unbearable. Yet I bear it till today...
Are u able to relate? That excruciating pain is unbearable. Yet I bear it till today...
Monday, 23 June 2014
230614 1900hrs
Dear dear 想想我们开心的时候。那是真的。我忽略了你是我的不对。 但我没有恶意。给我时间。我会为了我们的未来改进。
就算以后不能在一起了。 改也是一定的。虽然我每次都显得无所谓。但我真的很在乎你。
慢慢我也了解我自己多一点。在最悲伤的时候 我特别的感伤。 我从不因外人的说法而乱了自己。因为就因我的坚持才有现在的我。
U didnt lose ur ability to trust is that u r just confuse. I hope u will recover soon so we can have a good talk again
就算以后不能在一起了。 改也是一定的。虽然我每次都显得无所谓。但我真的很在乎你。
慢慢我也了解我自己多一点。在最悲伤的时候 我特别的感伤。 我从不因外人的说法而乱了自己。因为就因我的坚持才有现在的我。
U didnt lose ur ability to trust is that u r just confuse. I hope u will recover soon so we can have a good talk again
230614 0845hrs
This is what she say
..Like I have said. I really Don have the ability to trust anymore. Thanks for trying hard to salvage our rs. It's good u know how u can better your next rs. Once again I want to emphasise that it is not that I have dig out ur past that I mind. It's past I know, I m looking at our rs as a whole. It's difficult for u to be trying hard to change yourself and as I always say...I Don like to force u do anything u don't like. If I selfless ask u to change your temper, even though it's good for u...I don't think u be happier. I only can say...right now I really have close up...be coz every time I open my heart, every time I try to trust, I get hurt. How u want me to get out of that mental state and start afresh with u? Repeat these whole cycle again? I am not 20plus young girl. I am not game for this.
To be frank, thanks for trying to teach Dalton. But your way isn't working on him. He didn't learn at all with your methods. Instead he is afraid of u.
Everyone around me disapprove me for being with u. Everyone were happy for me to leave u. I am the one who keeps thinking of excuses for how u treat me or y u r like that. They respect me for my choice hence some let me be. Not that it's doesn't hurt me that I am no longer with u. But I am sure u will find someone after me....and someone who maybe don't need to torelate u but can guide u better and make u a better u. Not say u not good...but u r too dominator, self centred, only u can win. U never know why people leave u? These r the reason...I know all this is something u don't like to hear coz if I tell u...its have long trigger your anger and resentment for yourself. U also scold people that they r puni little human remember? U say u respect people but by putting other people down is not right! All other people no matter how.....how not considerate, how bad their doing which r not to ur personal standard or principle. ..its their doing and karma...u can get angry in just that short burst because they did something which u think they shouldn't. ...don't u find ridiculous?
Really uncle ong advice u to not making so high expectation on everyone. Did the msg gets to u? No I don't think so. Uncle poh said something about u which u find insulted u remember? But really...I wanted to ask u...people wouldn't out of kpo say these kind of comment to u. He already ask u Don feel offended for what he is going to say. Yes, not 100% true but he mean good and y would he say so is becoz of how u project yourself. And once again I do know, u don't need to care what other people thinks about u. U do whatever u like, no one in the world can tell u what to do....how to live your life and all. But did u think, only those who care for u ...concern for u ....will then say so much to u.
I am being drawn into your negative mind set. My postive is not powerful enough or i should I am too weak to help u. I didn't want to penalise u off your good. U r good and kind but yet so devilish. But this is u. I dunno anyone even tell u all these before. But these are the things which push all your loves one away....really.
That day my intention was to tell your sis or rather thinking whether there r ways or maybe she can help along for letting her know i suspected the reason for your short temper. I said i suspected u r bipolar but i didn't want to leave you but that time i have really bad blood pressure rushing up when u were there throwing temper. That's all i told her.
I even have the need to seek help as i felt no senses of secure and depleting faith in u. I dig up your past for i want to understand u more....i want to know y were u like that or what kind of person u really are. How can i change myself to get your attention, how can I avoid certain topic of speech to not trigger u angry...but the more I try...The more tired I am. I can say I really love u a lot no matter how many people beside me, no one was agreedable that I am with u. I was still holding on to that little hope I have left. But u blow it. My last wire snapped.
I told u I warn my ex hus b4 not to betray me. End up he took me as a fool and continue his mistakes. Till today now. He still have rs problems, he still flirts. What's make u think u can change for the better and change for good? Have u really learn anything from your past rs? Y r u always in that cycle and just keep wasting your life away.
It's must be very hard for u. For those above I now mention may be something u known of or someone told u before ...or...no one ever tell u before be coz u will get angry before they even gets the message to u.
All this came natural from my heart just to tell u....and not belittle u or to tell u what u should do in your life. U should know my expectations of u is that minimum. Becoz I once loved u.
..Like I have said. I really Don have the ability to trust anymore. Thanks for trying hard to salvage our rs. It's good u know how u can better your next rs. Once again I want to emphasise that it is not that I have dig out ur past that I mind. It's past I know, I m looking at our rs as a whole. It's difficult for u to be trying hard to change yourself and as I always say...I Don like to force u do anything u don't like. If I selfless ask u to change your temper, even though it's good for u...I don't think u be happier. I only can say...right now I really have close up...be coz every time I open my heart, every time I try to trust, I get hurt. How u want me to get out of that mental state and start afresh with u? Repeat these whole cycle again? I am not 20plus young girl. I am not game for this.
To be frank, thanks for trying to teach Dalton. But your way isn't working on him. He didn't learn at all with your methods. Instead he is afraid of u.
Everyone around me disapprove me for being with u. Everyone were happy for me to leave u. I am the one who keeps thinking of excuses for how u treat me or y u r like that. They respect me for my choice hence some let me be. Not that it's doesn't hurt me that I am no longer with u. But I am sure u will find someone after me....and someone who maybe don't need to torelate u but can guide u better and make u a better u. Not say u not good...but u r too dominator, self centred, only u can win. U never know why people leave u? These r the reason...I know all this is something u don't like to hear coz if I tell u...its have long trigger your anger and resentment for yourself. U also scold people that they r puni little human remember? U say u respect people but by putting other people down is not right! All other people no matter how.....how not considerate, how bad their doing which r not to ur personal standard or principle. ..its their doing and karma...u can get angry in just that short burst because they did something which u think they shouldn't. ...don't u find ridiculous?
Really uncle ong advice u to not making so high expectation on everyone. Did the msg gets to u? No I don't think so. Uncle poh said something about u which u find insulted u remember? But really...I wanted to ask u...people wouldn't out of kpo say these kind of comment to u. He already ask u Don feel offended for what he is going to say. Yes, not 100% true but he mean good and y would he say so is becoz of how u project yourself. And once again I do know, u don't need to care what other people thinks about u. U do whatever u like, no one in the world can tell u what to do....how to live your life and all. But did u think, only those who care for u ...concern for u ....will then say so much to u.
I am being drawn into your negative mind set. My postive is not powerful enough or i should I am too weak to help u. I didn't want to penalise u off your good. U r good and kind but yet so devilish. But this is u. I dunno anyone even tell u all these before. But these are the things which push all your loves one away....really.
That day my intention was to tell your sis or rather thinking whether there r ways or maybe she can help along for letting her know i suspected the reason for your short temper. I said i suspected u r bipolar but i didn't want to leave you but that time i have really bad blood pressure rushing up when u were there throwing temper. That's all i told her.
I even have the need to seek help as i felt no senses of secure and depleting faith in u. I dig up your past for i want to understand u more....i want to know y were u like that or what kind of person u really are. How can i change myself to get your attention, how can I avoid certain topic of speech to not trigger u angry...but the more I try...The more tired I am. I can say I really love u a lot no matter how many people beside me, no one was agreedable that I am with u. I was still holding on to that little hope I have left. But u blow it. My last wire snapped.
I told u I warn my ex hus b4 not to betray me. End up he took me as a fool and continue his mistakes. Till today now. He still have rs problems, he still flirts. What's make u think u can change for the better and change for good? Have u really learn anything from your past rs? Y r u always in that cycle and just keep wasting your life away.
It's must be very hard for u. For those above I now mention may be something u known of or someone told u before ...or...no one ever tell u before be coz u will get angry before they even gets the message to u.
All this came natural from my heart just to tell u....and not belittle u or to tell u what u should do in your life. U should know my expectations of u is that minimum. Becoz I once loved u.
Sunday, 22 June 2014
220614 1251hrs
当我真的改了。 你可能也不在了。 谢谢你对我的一切。给我的一切. 我将会把它收藏在心的莫个角落。我是真的那么爱你。 对不起. 谢谢。我的将来我会走的好。 你也会一样。 ：） loving u is such a wonderful thing. But very sadly I don have much time. At least now I know how I should move on. I know what I should take note. What I should be sensitive enough. 谢谢你的揉情 爱情。everyone kills me using my anger. But u are the only one that pointed out to me I am sick. I really apprecaite that. Thats why u are that special.
To my love doreen peng shi yun
To my love doreen peng shi yun
220614 0911hrs
everytime my hand phone rings when she is not around. I am so happy because i knew it was her. but, now, all was my friend comforting me. i don think i will boat anymore. those memories are hers and hers alone.
You decided it. What we have build, ended it just because you think you should be doing it like this? saying i being childish? we are both adult and what we should be is to settle the problem then we move on. Not by saying how the problem affected me so we should stop.
You decided it. What we have build, ended it just because you think you should be doing it like this? saying i being childish? we are both adult and what we should be is to settle the problem then we move on. Not by saying how the problem affected me so we should stop.
Saturday, 21 June 2014
210614 0520hrs
She took down all the photo and the relationship status. Looks like it. Ok exactly the same. Woman...... I guess nothing much I can do. If this is the way it is. Im starting to feel regret for being such an idiot. Caring for the kids and thinking hard for the future. Yet at the end..... Deep in me I knew it wont end here.
Friday, 20 June 2014
200614 1523hrs
Y it always back to the same old shit. I have enough.... Getting angry and delusional. What the fuck is wrong!!!!!. Never mind then have it ur way. U are feeling drain... What about me??? Well then fuck it. I don need you.
I will just live the life I am. After so long liao u still cannot understand me. Thats ok. I will get going.
U stay happy and look for another part of u. I wont interfere.
I will just live the life I am. After so long liao u still cannot understand me. Thats ok. I will get going.
U stay happy and look for another part of u. I wont interfere.
Friday, 17 January 2014
170114 2043hrs
Its been very heart breaking. To see u like this. I have lost it all..... Right now as I speak. The inbearable gravity pull in my heart look like never end. Every moment I was sitting on the chair smoking playing my games, at the corner of my eyes, I keep seeing u. As I look to that direction. U r not there. Ah cang, it is me that I have fail to protect u, and not caring enough for u. I love u so much that, I give my all to u. Yet I never did enough. My lord, this very gift little cute creature u have given me. Words cannot express it. Nothing on earth can compare this gift u gave me. I am forever grateful and thankful. My lord please take good care of him. If he comes back to you. Tell him I love him a lot. And I will look for him if I ever goes to heaven. My lord, please I beg of you.
Wednesday, 23 October 2013
231013 1535hrs
finally i realise, the one closest to you been doing something so terribly wrong. everything just so wrong. i have been hurt so bad this time. i don wanna forgive any longer. i have given too much time for this.
for the last 1 decade, i am living in the world full of deception, lies, i felt so fucking cheated. Hey come on!!! i am a human being just like everyone else, i show respect and love not for you to fucking destroy!!!!! worst of all, the one that hurt me is the one that brought me up. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!!!!!! its breaking inside me so much and painful!!!!!! no more armor no more shield no more sword!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!
I did not give it up, even sister left hopelessly..... i hang in there for so fucking long in hope i am wrong..... now i knew i have to go..... do not look for me. this time even if i die outside. i will never even crawl back home. i don have a fucking home now. i don know what is family. is this the teaching you fucking pass on to your children? don even talk about and say you guys have not much education!!!!!! because be it you study or not, morally got nothing to do with it!!!!
you rather listen to the outside people, fuck you!!! i will never want to face you!!! honestly i don fucking know how to face you guys!!!!!! in my life, though i never behave well enough to be of standard. I STILL KNOW WHATS FAMILY HONOR, LOYALTY, i never back down from those.... my heart right now is so fucking painful..... i am crying, weeping while writing this.... things i never will do to others, i least expected that came from you!!!!! To this stupid family, i am telling you, finally i will live my life in freedom. no hurtful words.... no mean words.... i have a life to go on... and when i return to myself again. don ever think about it. Why the fuck hidden agenda?????? from family!!!!!???? REALLY!!!!??? fuck!!!!!!!!!
for the last 1 decade, i am living in the world full of deception, lies, i felt so fucking cheated. Hey come on!!! i am a human being just like everyone else, i show respect and love not for you to fucking destroy!!!!! worst of all, the one that hurt me is the one that brought me up. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!!!!!! its breaking inside me so much and painful!!!!!! no more armor no more shield no more sword!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!
I did not give it up, even sister left hopelessly..... i hang in there for so fucking long in hope i am wrong..... now i knew i have to go..... do not look for me. this time even if i die outside. i will never even crawl back home. i don have a fucking home now. i don know what is family. is this the teaching you fucking pass on to your children? don even talk about and say you guys have not much education!!!!!! because be it you study or not, morally got nothing to do with it!!!!
you rather listen to the outside people, fuck you!!! i will never want to face you!!! honestly i don fucking know how to face you guys!!!!!! in my life, though i never behave well enough to be of standard. I STILL KNOW WHATS FAMILY HONOR, LOYALTY, i never back down from those.... my heart right now is so fucking painful..... i am crying, weeping while writing this.... things i never will do to others, i least expected that came from you!!!!! To this stupid family, i am telling you, finally i will live my life in freedom. no hurtful words.... no mean words.... i have a life to go on... and when i return to myself again. don ever think about it. Why the fuck hidden agenda?????? from family!!!!!???? REALLY!!!!??? fuck!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, 11 April 2013
110413 2119Hrs
you have did something very wrong.... but you didnt realise it.... its not your fault.... anyway thanks for everything you have done :) comrade you are a good person that i wont find such person again...
do take care and live good, i know you will :)
do take care and live good, i know you will :)
Saturday, 16 March 2013
160313 2340Hrs
Miss the boat.... zuo le... wo zhen de hui tuo kan le ni yi yan.... dan zui zhong ni fa qi le... hao ba wo hui zhu fu ni.... I have left my port open up for you.... but then you have decided.... honestly i knew we will come to this.... i already told you.... but you are confirm during that time..... so i think i should be thinking of looking forward... Thanks comrade..... i will miss you deeply.... just might not be what we are anymore you know....
For now i need to re structure my path, and continuing mission. i have to move.... xin bu ding jiu bu neng xiang qian jing.... hope you will be able to see with your heart :)
For now i need to re structure my path, and continuing mission. i have to move.... xin bu ding jiu bu neng xiang qian jing.... hope you will be able to see with your heart :)
Thursday, 14 March 2013
140313 0650Hrs
給你需要的幸福(看後哭了)
有一對情侶，都是大學生，他們畢業後，結婚了。結婚後，很幸福。這個女孩的一個朋友，老公很有錢，她們一起出去，人家買的都是貴的，她都是便宜的， 她就鬧心，然後就對老公發脾氣。她老公很體貼，問她怎麽了。她就說你掙那麽一點錢，連我買衣服的都不夠，然後他老公沈默了，沒說話。那女孩說，對不起哦。 過了一段時間，男孩和她說我在日本找了一份工作，明天就走，掙的錢多，掙的錢都給你打卡上。也許很久才能回來一次。
女孩哭了，想讓他留下，但是又想讓他多掙點錢。第二天，男孩走了，沒用多久，她的卡上就多了一萬塊錢。從此，她也有錢了，每天出去買好多衣服，她身 邊的朋友都羨慕她，可是，她心裏總是空空的。回到家，看到的是雙人床，可卻只有她自己睡了，每天都自己睡一邊，她越來越感到孤單。
很想老公，給他打電話，她說很想他，讓他回來。他沒有回來，還是繼續給她打錢，短短的半年，給她在卡上打了二百多萬。她說夠了，讓他回來，他還是不 回來，讓她好好在家呆著。她有了這麽多錢，也不工作了，就是每天逛街看電視，和朋友聊天。快一年的時候，她太想他了，就打電話，想讓他回來。可是，接電話 的是個女的。她就想，男人有錢就變壞，看來他真的是變壞了。她哭了好久，她哭著對自己說，我不要錢了，我只想要你。
過了幾天，她又給他打電話，這次是他自己接的。他對她說，我給你錢，你改嫁吧，我們離婚吧。女孩瘋了一樣的說，不行。他說他有了另一個女孩。女孩傷 心，每天出去買好多東西，填補內心的空虛。她想他，再次給他打電話的時候，又是那個女孩接的，那個女孩聲音很柔弱的對她說，你們離婚吧。過幾天離婚協議書 就給你打過去了。然後就掛了。這不到一年的時間，他已經在她卡上打了近三百多萬，她每次問他在做什麽，他都說在研究人體，所以給的錢多，她也就沒再問下 去。
這次，她再也受不了了，她買了去日本的機票，打聽了他在的地方。因為他一直沒告訴過她，他在哪裏。
她終於找到了他......
在的地方，她找到了接電話的女孩，問她，他在哪。她低著頭說，你還是來了，你跟我來，然後她帶她來到了一家醫院。
她心裏緊張，經過一年的離別，終於可以見到日思夜想的他了。推開的，是病房的門，她進門的那一刻，她呆住了。看著病床上那個臉色蒼白的他，已經沒有了一年前的陽光和活力，二十多歲的男孩，現在已經像三四十歲，瘦的沒有一點點肉。 她跑過去，瘋狂的抱住他，問他這是怎麽了。他艱難的笑了笑，傻丫頭，你還是來了，我沒事。她哭了，轉過頭，問那個女孩，他和我離婚是因為你嗎?
他怎麽了，她低著頭，半天才說出話來。這個女孩只是醫院的護士而已，是照顧他的護士。她哭了，她說她看不下去了，然後跑出去了。女孩抱著他，問他怎麽了。他只是說，傻丫頭，那些錢都收到了吧，放心吧，那都是幹凈錢。我想夠你花很長時間了。
她哭了，還是問他怎麽了。他沒說。最後，她找到了那個女孩，問她。她告訴她，這個男孩一到日本他們就認識了，他一直在一家醫院研究一種病毒。這件事沒到生 存不下去的地步，沒人去做，因為，需要用自己做試驗，凡是接觸這種病毒的人都會慢慢的被感染，除非研究出解決的辦法來，只要同意研究，就會簽一份合同，合 同簽了，就會先付一百萬人民幣。
他猶豫了一下，還是簽了，他做到了。女孩知道後，瘋了一樣的哭著，在女孩最後陪伴他的日子裏，他是開心的，而她卻感覺自己是個罪人。男孩死了，女孩帶著他的骨灰回到了中國，回到了那個曾經一起共同創建的家。而如今，只剩下她一個人，和她花不完的錢。
她捧著曾經一起的照片哭了，跪在床邊，門響了，她打開門。收到了一個郵包。她打開郵包，是他走時候，她送給他的襯衫。一張卡和一封信從襯衫裏掉了出 來，信裏寫著：老婆，當你收到這封信的時候，也許叫遺書更合適吧，我已經不在人世了。我不知道這樣做對不對，是不是給了你想要的幸福，但是我知道，你肯定 不舍得我走。老婆，還記得我們剛結婚的時候，我答應你要給你想要的生活。我不知道這麽做對不對，老婆，那張卡裏有三百萬，夠你花了，你一定要幸福的。我不 後悔為你付出了生命，不要再想我了，只要記得，曾經有個男人很愛很愛你，為了你，什麽都能去做。丫頭，你要幸福的，我給了。你想要的物質，卻沒法再給你愛 情，但我在天上會繼續保護你，我愛你。
有一對情侶，都是大學生，他們畢業後，結婚了。結婚後，很幸福。這個女孩的一個朋友，老公很有錢，她們一起出去，人家買的都是貴的，她都是便宜的， 她就鬧心，然後就對老公發脾氣。她老公很體貼，問她怎麽了。她就說你掙那麽一點錢，連我買衣服的都不夠，然後他老公沈默了，沒說話。那女孩說，對不起哦。 過了一段時間，男孩和她說我在日本找了一份工作，明天就走，掙的錢多，掙的錢都給你打卡上。也許很久才能回來一次。
女孩哭了，想讓他留下，但是又想讓他多掙點錢。第二天，男孩走了，沒用多久，她的卡上就多了一萬塊錢。從此，她也有錢了，每天出去買好多衣服，她身 邊的朋友都羨慕她，可是，她心裏總是空空的。回到家，看到的是雙人床，可卻只有她自己睡了，每天都自己睡一邊，她越來越感到孤單。
很想老公，給他打電話，她說很想他，讓他回來。他沒有回來，還是繼續給她打錢，短短的半年，給她在卡上打了二百多萬。她說夠了，讓他回來，他還是不 回來，讓她好好在家呆著。她有了這麽多錢，也不工作了，就是每天逛街看電視，和朋友聊天。快一年的時候，她太想他了，就打電話，想讓他回來。可是，接電話 的是個女的。她就想，男人有錢就變壞，看來他真的是變壞了。她哭了好久，她哭著對自己說，我不要錢了，我只想要你。
過了幾天，她又給他打電話，這次是他自己接的。他對她說，我給你錢，你改嫁吧，我們離婚吧。女孩瘋了一樣的說，不行。他說他有了另一個女孩。女孩傷 心，每天出去買好多東西，填補內心的空虛。她想他，再次給他打電話的時候，又是那個女孩接的，那個女孩聲音很柔弱的對她說，你們離婚吧。過幾天離婚協議書 就給你打過去了。然後就掛了。這不到一年的時間，他已經在她卡上打了近三百多萬，她每次問他在做什麽，他都說在研究人體，所以給的錢多，她也就沒再問下 去。
這次，她再也受不了了，她買了去日本的機票，打聽了他在的地方。因為他一直沒告訴過她，他在哪裏。
她終於找到了他......
隱藏內容
在的地方，她找到了接電話的女孩，問她，他在哪。她低著頭說，你還是來了，你跟我來，然後她帶她來到了一家醫院。
她心裏緊張，經過一年的離別，終於可以見到日思夜想的他了。推開的，是病房的門，她進門的那一刻，她呆住了。看著病床上那個臉色蒼白的他，已經沒有了一年前的陽光和活力，二十多歲的男孩，現在已經像三四十歲，瘦的沒有一點點肉。 她跑過去，瘋狂的抱住他，問他這是怎麽了。他艱難的笑了笑，傻丫頭，你還是來了，我沒事。她哭了，轉過頭，問那個女孩，他和我離婚是因為你嗎?
他怎麽了，她低著頭，半天才說出話來。這個女孩只是醫院的護士而已，是照顧他的護士。她哭了，她說她看不下去了，然後跑出去了。女孩抱著他，問他怎麽了。他只是說，傻丫頭，那些錢都收到了吧，放心吧，那都是幹凈錢。我想夠你花很長時間了。
她哭了，還是問他怎麽了。他沒說。最後，她找到了那個女孩，問她。她告訴她，這個男孩一到日本他們就認識了，他一直在一家醫院研究一種病毒。這件事沒到生 存不下去的地步，沒人去做，因為，需要用自己做試驗，凡是接觸這種病毒的人都會慢慢的被感染，除非研究出解決的辦法來，只要同意研究，就會簽一份合同，合 同簽了，就會先付一百萬人民幣。
他猶豫了一下，還是簽了，他做到了。女孩知道後，瘋了一樣的哭著，在女孩最後陪伴他的日子裏，他是開心的，而她卻感覺自己是個罪人。男孩死了，女孩帶著他的骨灰回到了中國，回到了那個曾經一起共同創建的家。而如今，只剩下她一個人，和她花不完的錢。
她捧著曾經一起的照片哭了，跪在床邊，門響了，她打開門。收到了一個郵包。她打開郵包，是他走時候，她送給他的襯衫。一張卡和一封信從襯衫裏掉了出 來，信裏寫著：老婆，當你收到這封信的時候，也許叫遺書更合適吧，我已經不在人世了。我不知道這樣做對不對，是不是給了你想要的幸福，但是我知道，你肯定 不舍得我走。老婆，還記得我們剛結婚的時候，我答應你要給你想要的生活。我不知道這麽做對不對，老婆，那張卡裏有三百萬，夠你花了，你一定要幸福的。我不 後悔為你付出了生命，不要再想我了，只要記得，曾經有個男人很愛很愛你，為了你，什麽都能去做。丫頭，你要幸福的，我給了。你想要的物質，卻沒法再給你愛 情，但我在天上會繼續保護你，我愛你。
Tuesday, 5 March 2013
040313 2356Hrs
Hey bro..... i will say i beak my own promise to help you this time, i injured myself too. so they have give me face, you don go and create problem again. GRRR.... ever since i left, ever since i started my new life what the heck am i doing back there again.... you were once my bother and till now still is. so don just keep going and maintain your &^%$#%^ habit!!!!!
What happened today, i will take it once and for all please for u and family sake stop ur FREAKING habit!!! How long u think i am able to save u? U better sayang ur wife more.... if she didnt call me u will be in damn big freaking trouble. Like i say to you brother will always be brother. but do spare a thought for your family
God bless us all AMEN
What happened today, i will take it once and for all please for u and family sake stop ur FREAKING habit!!! How long u think i am able to save u? U better sayang ur wife more.... if she didnt call me u will be in damn big freaking trouble. Like i say to you brother will always be brother. but do spare a thought for your family
God bless us all AMEN
Sunday, 3 March 2013
030313 0358Hrs
I told her what i feel lo.... don know what will become of us. God it is your will and i would want to :)
I told her when the way she sayang the cat i felt like i wanna hug her... seriously people that love animal are so attractive to me and warm my heart so much :)
I would say, some how i knew you.... if you want spread your wings and fly..... when you are tired le, make your way back here if you want.... my port is open for you :)
God bless the world and you :)
I told her when the way she sayang the cat i felt like i wanna hug her... seriously people that love animal are so attractive to me and warm my heart so much :)
I would say, some how i knew you.... if you want spread your wings and fly..... when you are tired le, make your way back here if you want.... my port is open for you :)
God bless the world and you :)
030313 0105Hrs
Today uncle Gab tell me about putting others first before us. and he also mention that Helping people is good intension. but same time, must make sure it wont cause another problem within a problem. And also ourself must be healthy to help :)
Saturday, 2 March 2013
020313 1209Hrs
I forget to write something..... ok after i send her home we walk below her block to see the cats!!!! haha she love so the cat. and never in my life i saw a woman like this that love so the cat.
Again gravity pull this time its more like touch.... :)
Again gravity pull this time its more like touch.... :)
020313 0545Hrs
we have a long chat at east coast about almost everything haha, -- wo meng hui zou dao na ge jin tou ma? she ask me that... i was shock... Erm right here i say maybe... but, don worry :) you can go ahead :)
I sense something. yet again, fog.... well don :) she told me about she cannot be with the up up guy... erm... i don know how to tell you.... coz something is stopping me.....
Emotion is something as human we cannot run away from.... yet again we try to control.... But what i can say, the more you wanna control it the more will lose control of it.
Just stay happy and smile from your heart for the rest of your life :) God bless u and family :)
I sense something. yet again, fog.... well don :) she told me about she cannot be with the up up guy... erm... i don know how to tell you.... coz something is stopping me.....
Emotion is something as human we cannot run away from.... yet again we try to control.... But what i can say, the more you wanna control it the more will lose control of it.
Just stay happy and smile from your heart for the rest of your life :) God bless u and family :)
Friday, 1 March 2013
010313 2344Hrs
Oh no.... :( its getting deeper...... why like this.... i feel the gravity pull inside my heart.... today got news from her.... a person that she is considering.... erm what can i say? one part wish you all the best, one part keep denying the news...
:) zhi yao ni kai xin, jiu you ni qu ba :) wo hui xiang shang di shuo, rang ta kan zhu ni :)
tian tian kai xin :)
:) zhi yao ni kai xin, jiu you ni qu ba :) wo hui xiang shang di shuo, rang ta kan zhu ni :)
tian tian kai xin :)
Wednesday, 27 February 2013
270213 2035Hrs
I am sorry.... but i cant help falling for you...... Sorry I will try harder not to fall.... :(.....
270213 0042Hrs
My heart feels heavy... i felt something in me slowly is changing.... I cannot understand what is it.... Doe a person i just come to know about like weeks ago. somehow in her i sense confusion... yet clear... haha funny...
Recently i have come to know.... everytime i treat people good, but, in the end they will just heck care you when you are in trouble... why do i still feel for them? i cannot understand that part in me. why is it like this...
Guess its in my blood to treat people good... always got mistreat by people.... God why like this? i am not questioning you.... just felt sadden by this.... Since you created me, there's a purpose for me.... Just let me know what i need to do.... i receive order from you and i will accomplish it....
God bless the WORLD :)
Recently i have come to know.... everytime i treat people good, but, in the end they will just heck care you when you are in trouble... why do i still feel for them? i cannot understand that part in me. why is it like this...
Guess its in my blood to treat people good... always got mistreat by people.... God why like this? i am not questioning you.... just felt sadden by this.... Since you created me, there's a purpose for me.... Just let me know what i need to do.... i receive order from you and i will accomplish it....
God bless the WORLD :)
Friday, 15 February 2013
150213 2114Hrs
Today suppose to go bible study but didnt go. A lots thought come into my mind sigh.... how do i get it off?
今之念，刻内心。往意时，飘我心。明知不可行，却有难受极。 为何为＂情＂ 字烦？
.... logic versus feeling. compromise versus compatibility... well human flaw.... things change..... people change... memory... stay.... thats why we dwell in it... the sweet good feeling of memory doesnt change.... i could not live in the past anymore..... Lord in heaven grant me strength to move forward.... Amen :)
今之念，刻内心。往意时，飘我心。明知不可行，却有难受极。 为何为＂情＂ 字烦？
.... logic versus feeling. compromise versus compatibility... well human flaw.... things change..... people change... memory... stay.... thats why we dwell in it... the sweet good feeling of memory doesnt change.... i could not live in the past anymore..... Lord in heaven grant me strength to move forward.... Amen :)
Thursday, 14 February 2013
140213 0206Hrs
later my family going to HK :) my lord please i pray to you for their safety, if anything bad were to happened over there. PLEASE let it be me to take the hit please my lord i pray in Jesus name AMEN!!!
I started to miss someone.... but i seriously have to move on.... i am sorry i sound weak.... I think i will miss you and probably a long time... But rest assure i will not be loving you le... I did love you.... and thats did... I will be loving someone worth more of my time...
Lord i am sorry that i really TRY to love unconditionally. but i fail a lot time.. My lord please help me to love unconditionally.... My Lord please help me forget and forgive those i hurt and hurt me... only you have the power in Jesus name AMEN. :)
I started to miss someone.... but i seriously have to move on.... i am sorry i sound weak.... I think i will miss you and probably a long time... But rest assure i will not be loving you le... I did love you.... and thats did... I will be loving someone worth more of my time...
Lord i am sorry that i really TRY to love unconditionally. but i fail a lot time.. My lord please help me to love unconditionally.... My Lord please help me forget and forgive those i hurt and hurt me... only you have the power in Jesus name AMEN. :)
Friday, 8 February 2013
080213 0415Hrs
Its my Birthday :) but its a lonely birthday... i did came to know a few female friends... but i don know why... i have some special feeling only for one....
Saturday, 19 January 2013
Friday, 18 January 2013
Thursday, 17 January 2013
Monday, 14 January 2013
140113 0840Hrs
As i was browsing around in facebook. found many old friends :) and i also notice a lot them have already married and have children liao.... i look at them and i look at myself....
here i am being always trouble by love..... what the heck man..... i have wasted enough time.I don want to waste anymore....
Enough is enough..... Sorry i have to go...
here i am being always trouble by love..... what the heck man..... i have wasted enough time.I don want to waste anymore....
Enough is enough..... Sorry i have to go...
140113 0529Hrs
我的手握著方向盤
眼神停留在陌生的前方
週末夜晚擁擠的路上
我們能不能走到山頂上
你就坐在我的身旁
為什麼心卻生活在他方
周圍夜色如此得迷亂
沉默中聽見不安的試探
你愛我嗎
我可以這樣問你嗎
你愛我嗎
你給我的溫柔是寂寞嗎
你愛我嗎
你心裡還有遺憾嗎
你是真的愛我嗎
城市裡燈火正輝煌
我們的未來在什麼地方
週末夜晚天空正閃亮
幸福是不是還握在手上
你就靠在我的肩膀
為什麼心卻沉沒在遠方
窗外天空依然還溫暖
歎息中發現不只是不安
你愛我嗎
我可以這樣問你嗎
你愛我嗎
你給我的溫柔是寂寞嗎
你愛我嗎
你心裡還有遺憾嗎
你是真的快樂嗎
你愛我嗎
你這樣問過自已嗎
你愛我嗎
你給我的擁抱是習慣嗎
你愛我嗎
你的心裡還是唯一嗎
你愛我嗎
你是真的愛我嗎
眼神停留在陌生的前方
週末夜晚擁擠的路上
我們能不能走到山頂上
你就坐在我的身旁
為什麼心卻生活在他方
周圍夜色如此得迷亂
沉默中聽見不安的試探
你愛我嗎
我可以這樣問你嗎
你愛我嗎
你給我的溫柔是寂寞嗎
你愛我嗎
你心裡還有遺憾嗎
你是真的愛我嗎
城市裡燈火正輝煌
我們的未來在什麼地方
週末夜晚天空正閃亮
幸福是不是還握在手上
你就靠在我的肩膀
為什麼心卻沉沒在遠方
窗外天空依然還溫暖
歎息中發現不只是不安
你愛我嗎
我可以這樣問你嗎
你愛我嗎
你給我的溫柔是寂寞嗎
你愛我嗎
你心裡還有遺憾嗎
你是真的快樂嗎
你愛我嗎
你這樣問過自已嗎
你愛我嗎
你給我的擁抱是習慣嗎
你愛我嗎
你的心裡還是唯一嗎
你愛我嗎
你是真的愛我嗎
Sunday, 13 January 2013
130113 1816Hrs
MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS ...
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
... Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. ♥
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
... Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. ♥
Saturday, 12 January 2013
120113 0046 HRS
Sigh.... mind torturing.... Another freaking mind game (*%$&..... totally lost it.... go ahead your way.... may your next be able to work it out with you.....
Mind set all wrong still upholding it.... you are the one that say you don care so hope you don ever regret saying that.
Mind set all wrong still upholding it.... you are the one that say you don care so hope you don ever regret saying that.
Friday, 11 January 2013
110113 1735Hrs
Hmm 3rd day no reply... ok i think i have to make up my mind. really am wasting time....
Thursday, 10 January 2013
100113 0304Hrs
The only thing that keeps me loving you is the hope that maybe-maybe you’ll love me back someday
100113 0252Hrs
I´ve always wanted her to love me the way I loved her. She did love me, I know she did. Just not the way I wanted her to… I’d always secretly believed that a love as fierce and true as mine would be rewarded in the end, and now I was being forced to accept the bitter truth
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
010813 0233Hrs
..... my first post in 2013.... strange i have facebook but im still here :) i don know why my brain always work so powerfully at night..... Lord please help me.... cant sleep....
Recently i realise i did a lot things to hurt someone.... i am truly sorry. then again what i am going through now is what i've done back to me.... well, i accepted le....
wo ai ni, dan que huan lai bei shang.... zhi xiang ting ting ni de sheng yin, dan ni que bu hui zhu dong....nan ren ye xu yao ren teng... yin xiong ye yao rou qing ban.... kan lai, wo de gan qing lu hen shi kan ke.... bei shang le hen jiu, ye bu zhi dao zhe mei shou...
na zhong bei shang de gan jue hao zhen shi.... tong de wo mei fa shuo chu kou... xiang zhao ren liao shi, que you shuo bu chu kou.... mao dun....
Recently i realise i did a lot things to hurt someone.... i am truly sorry. then again what i am going through now is what i've done back to me.... well, i accepted le....
wo ai ni, dan que huan lai bei shang.... zhi xiang ting ting ni de sheng yin, dan ni que bu hui zhu dong....nan ren ye xu yao ren teng... yin xiong ye yao rou qing ban.... kan lai, wo de gan qing lu hen shi kan ke.... bei shang le hen jiu, ye bu zhi dao zhe mei shou...
na zhong bei shang de gan jue hao zhen shi.... tong de wo mei fa shuo chu kou... xiang zhao ren liao shi, que you shuo bu chu kou.... mao dun....
Tuesday, 25 December 2012
251212 0427Hrs
A lonely christmas, raining.... i feel heavy.... actually wanted to spend it with my love but no more.... well, guess i have finish the trial...
End of the world is indeed bull shit... a lot people making up story this and that. Its only through thick and thin, u will see a person true heart. guess that very true.... but for me be it or not i always give it all, and now feeling sad again.....
guess im stupid enough to fall for it again.
End of the world is indeed bull shit... a lot people making up story this and that. Its only through thick and thin, u will see a person true heart. guess that very true.... but for me be it or not i always give it all, and now feeling sad again.....
guess im stupid enough to fall for it again.
Monday, 24 December 2012
241212 1441Hrs
This year im gonna get my ccnp :) the good lord please help me :) But Lonely Christmas....
241212 1231Hrs
Sigh i thought this year christmas will be so nice and warm :( someone just destroy it again....
Fuck that. Go and be the way you are. when thing gets better, someone will love me for who i am.
Any way thanks for accompany me those period of time.
Fuck that. Go and be the way you are. when thing gets better, someone will love me for who i am.
Any way thanks for accompany me those period of time.
Sunday, 23 December 2012
231212 1656Hrs
What the hell is this all happening again. really what the fuck. Not a caring person thats all she say. fine, go ahead. i have been telling you, and you still wanna be like this. go ahead
you are just wasting my time. really go forward and move on to your next guy. i don wanna be so stupid again to keep chasing. i am tired.
May god bless you.
you are just wasting my time. really go forward and move on to your next guy. i don wanna be so stupid again to keep chasing. i am tired.
May god bless you.
Wednesday, 19 December 2012
191212 1021Hrs
I was on my way to client site at bugis, guess who I saw? its Catherine, Sylvia second sister. she was with her daughter baby Karen. :) she call me and Karen was actually waving at me haha,
never seen Karen for a while since sometime back. she still remember me :)the whole event last about 1 to 2 minutes.
I do get funny thought, weird and sad feeling :( what is this all about man :(
well at least for that moment only.....
never seen Karen for a while since sometime back. she still remember me :)the whole event last about 1 to 2 minutes.
I do get funny thought, weird and sad feeling :( what is this all about man :(
well at least for that moment only.....
Thursday, 13 December 2012
131212 1048Hrs
I met a broken girl, knowing she was cheated and heart broken for the lie and hurts for the last five years. I stay with her giving her everything I have. In sometime later, some how I knew she wont be loving me back.
But I still care for her. She is afraid of thunder, whenever it sound off I would hold her in my arms, and cover her ear, making sure she feel safe... and days to come whenever its raining if I am not anywhere near her, I will text her to be careful. My feeling grow so strongly for broken girl.... whenever I am sleeping with broken girl in the middle of the night, I would sit beside her watching broken girl sleep. I feel safe and for a moment I close my eyes.
I've give broken girl a present I don't think anyone of her ex could give. I have met broken girl's mom and grandmom. Both don like me.... because I am poor, I don have the financial power.broken girl hide it away, I never knew that... till the day broken girl told me about it. broken girl told me she have dated a few guys... my heart is very very broken, my knight armor shed into pieces... leaving my so open up to attacks.... in my heart I was so afraid and lost and hopeless, lonely......
I pray to God to give me strength to love unconditionally. but I fail.... I left broken girl, broken girl cry very hard for the first time. my heart became soft again.... holding her in my arms again.... But just to let broken girl hurt me again....
................. I really wish you good from the bottom of my heart.
I wish broken girl will have a blessed and wonderful life she wish for... broken girl left me with a happy heart now.....
I am left over with broken heart....
But I still care for her. She is afraid of thunder, whenever it sound off I would hold her in my arms, and cover her ear, making sure she feel safe... and days to come whenever its raining if I am not anywhere near her, I will text her to be careful. My feeling grow so strongly for broken girl.... whenever I am sleeping with broken girl in the middle of the night, I would sit beside her watching broken girl sleep. I feel safe and for a moment I close my eyes.
I've give broken girl a present I don't think anyone of her ex could give. I have met broken girl's mom and grandmom. Both don like me.... because I am poor, I don have the financial power.broken girl hide it away, I never knew that... till the day broken girl told me about it. broken girl told me she have dated a few guys... my heart is very very broken, my knight armor shed into pieces... leaving my so open up to attacks.... in my heart I was so afraid and lost and hopeless, lonely......
I pray to God to give me strength to love unconditionally. but I fail.... I left broken girl, broken girl cry very hard for the first time. my heart became soft again.... holding her in my arms again.... But just to let broken girl hurt me again....
................. I really wish you good from the bottom of my heart.
I wish broken girl will have a blessed and wonderful life she wish for... broken girl left me with a happy heart now.....
I am left over with broken heart....
131212 0945Hrs
I was suppose to write something yesterday 121212. But no time haha.... today I reach office, nothing to do again. slowly this place is becoming walking dead... few of my comrade left... I am demoralize. what good is there to stay?....
I have come to this place for a new start new life. But all it seems now is becoming worst.... maybe perhaps God want me to go through this trial again? My Lord, for you know my loyalty for you. I have lost a very good comrade for me.. Alvin Ang.... and recently I lost my motivation again. Its so damn hard for me to just keep it up.
Recently I've been researching on zodiac, why do I even have to be born on this day.... date..... Why the FUCK am I so different from others????? FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sigh..... never mind I will pick my bag up again and step by step inch out to my dream. my dream the northern light... I know I might not make it, but, I would die try.... even if it mean I have to go alone.... of coz in my heart I really wish I could go with my love.... but then again.... well lets stop here.... coz I know it wont help anything anymore.....
I am losing my grip.... even I am losing it, I would still help anyone that needed help.... a lot people say that I am stupid.... but I really don know why I will help and I give my all to it too.... why I am build like this??? why am I born like this? I don think its of my parent coz they are not that helpful, though helpful. Can someone just point me in the right direction?
A lot people look at me I am a very happy person and without problem trouble and all. But, people deep in me I don know how I should tell you its killing me inside and none have seen it. when I am very close with you then you might see. for now I would just be what it is....
I have come to this place for a new start new life. But all it seems now is becoming worst.... maybe perhaps God want me to go through this trial again? My Lord, for you know my loyalty for you. I have lost a very good comrade for me.. Alvin Ang.... and recently I lost my motivation again. Its so damn hard for me to just keep it up.
Recently I've been researching on zodiac, why do I even have to be born on this day.... date..... Why the FUCK am I so different from others????? FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sigh..... never mind I will pick my bag up again and step by step inch out to my dream. my dream the northern light... I know I might not make it, but, I would die try.... even if it mean I have to go alone.... of coz in my heart I really wish I could go with my love.... but then again.... well lets stop here.... coz I know it wont help anything anymore.....
I am losing my grip.... even I am losing it, I would still help anyone that needed help.... a lot people say that I am stupid.... but I really don know why I will help and I give my all to it too.... why I am build like this??? why am I born like this? I don think its of my parent coz they are not that helpful, though helpful. Can someone just point me in the right direction?
A lot people look at me I am a very happy person and without problem trouble and all. But, people deep in me I don know how I should tell you its killing me inside and none have seen it. when I am very close with you then you might see. for now I would just be what it is....
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
271112 2321Hrs
I have not been updating for awhile.... again this is going no where... but i guess this will be harder. God telling me i should let go the past.... i should since i let it go le.... :)
This time its hard, i knew it will get harder. well lets see.... i don want to be such fool anymore....
This time its hard, i knew it will get harder. well lets see.... i don want to be such fool anymore....
Friday, 23 November 2012
231112 1632Hrs
One Aquarian was ready to do a suicidal jump when he found another man there. The Aquarian persuaded the man to give up such 'evil' idea, pumping a lot of will power, optimism and that man went away happily. Then the Aquarian jumped off the cliff! Aquarian gives hope, life happiness, optimism to others even if he does not find them in his life
Sunday, 18 November 2012
181112 2200Hrs
後來 我總算學會了如何去愛 可惜你早已遠去 消失在人海 後來 終於在眼淚中明白 有些人 一旦錯過就不再 梔子花白花瓣 落在我藍色百褶裙上
愛你 你輕聲說 我低下頭聞見一陣芬芳 那個永恆的夜晚 十七歲仲夏 你吻我的那個夜晚 讓我往後的時光 每當有感嘆 總想起當天的星光
那時候的愛情 為什麼就能那樣簡單 而又是為什麼 人年少時 一定要讓深愛的人受傷 在這相似的深夜裡 你是否一樣 也在靜靜追悔感傷
如果當時我們能 不那麼倔強 現在也不那麼遺憾 你都如何回憶我 帶著笑或是很沉默 這些年來 有沒有人能讓你不寂寞
永遠不會再重來 有一個男孩 愛著那個女孩...
Monday, 5 November 2012
051112 1713HRS
In life, God doesn't give you the people you want, instead he gives you the people you need. To teach you, to hurt you, to love you, and make you exactly the way you should be
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
091012 1253Hrs
Its been awhile... I saw fin and her boyfriend facebook they look happy :) Good looks like father in heaven have blessed them :) Hope this continue.
I don know about Sylvia, i wsh that happened to her too.
Sally how about you? are you getting on well? :)
I don know about Sylvia, i wsh that happened to her too.
Sally how about you? are you getting on well? :)
Friday, 21 September 2012
Sunday, 9 September 2012
090912 2242Hrs
Saturday, 8 September 2012
080912 1803Hrs
Generally speaking Aquarians are: communicative, thoughtful &
caring, co-operative, dependable, scientific, independent in thought
& action, magnetic, inventive, loyal but rarely jealous. They can
also be tactless & rude, eccentric, self-interested, lack conviction
and voyeuristic.
Aquarius men are very independent people, they like their space in relationships, they are very smart, and love a women whom they can have intellectual conversations with. They fall in love with a woman who is understanding, caring, encouraging and positive, and dosent rush him into things. He likes an independent woman who also has a life of her own. No one controlling, or obsessive.
They are great boyfriends and very action orientated. Its hard for them to express themselves verbally but do not blame him for this. Plus, actions always speak louder than words. :)
Be patient with him, interested in his everyday life, and always stay postitive and encouraging. Most importantly Always act like a lady. They love feminine ladies, whom they respect.
he’ll seldom bother to check whether they’re appropriate for the
occasion. He’ll show up barefoot if he feels like it, and laugh at you for laughing at him. Aquarians often deliberately adopt weird attire to show their refusal to conform
Aquarius men are very independent people, they like their space in relationships, they are very smart, and love a women whom they can have intellectual conversations with. They fall in love with a woman who is understanding, caring, encouraging and positive, and dosent rush him into things. He likes an independent woman who also has a life of her own. No one controlling, or obsessive.
They are great boyfriends and very action orientated. Its hard for them to express themselves verbally but do not blame him for this. Plus, actions always speak louder than words. :)
Be patient with him, interested in his everyday life, and always stay postitive and encouraging. Most importantly Always act like a lady. They love feminine ladies, whom they respect.
he’ll seldom bother to check whether they’re appropriate for the
occasion. He’ll show up barefoot if he feels like it, and laugh at you for laughing at him. Aquarians often deliberately adopt weird attire to show their refusal to conform
Tuesday, 4 September 2012
040912 0127Hrs
I cannot sleep i don know why..... i have been in the company for 2 month lo.... happy and angry in a way... Like i told sylvia i didnt know there is still such good and almost perfect girls out there after i left her...
I feel much happier now :) hahaha my brain is killing me though... i have this problem since i was a kid.... i know my brain is so much more powerful at night..... i don even know why..... maybe God forbi me from using it from things he don know me to.... and in one way i understand..... if i have the power i might abuse...
Thank God for loving me..... God though i always sin against you. but you keep forgiving me.... God if one day i really cannot take it anymore. I humbly ask of you please have mercy on me.....
recently i met a girl from my working friend. Her name is christine Goh, hope i get her name correct. i disturb her haha sms her haha.. till she cannot take it haha.... i like to disturb people yay hahaha.....
all this while i'm been living in a life of lies.... she lie to her mom grandmom and family..... she been through that but still put me throught it... sigh.... luckily i realise it, and walk away... she been toying with my feeling..... well, good luck. coz i still pray for you. she is just so bad in someways..... still have the cheek to hide things from her mom and grandmom.... because of her impression is so good in her family...... living your life in lies???
when one day everything been found out lets see if you can take it. for i am always direct and straight forward. i never even thing of hurting anyone.
Fin i have been praying for you. but you yourself have to let go the fear. simply you didnt recover and just step into the relationship.. now you are facing problem, you keep blaming your fear..... i have and did told you at the beginning of our break up. but you choose not to listen. cant blame you also. i understand. if you have step out of the mental state you are in now you can see better.
Sally i am sorry that i could not love you. just simply you are just so perfect. i know you don mind. but, simply i could not believe good things happened to me too. i have to reject you. for the condition you are right now. you should find some one on par with you. for me..... i can only say that i don deserve good things in a way.
If i ever have a chance, i would live my life good and no bad habbit. God i love you.... if i never come to know you..... i think i will be just a low life...... but you have make me become strong in faith. :) Lord of lord King of king. I love you.
I feel much happier now :) hahaha my brain is killing me though... i have this problem since i was a kid.... i know my brain is so much more powerful at night..... i don even know why..... maybe God forbi me from using it from things he don know me to.... and in one way i understand..... if i have the power i might abuse...
Thank God for loving me..... God though i always sin against you. but you keep forgiving me.... God if one day i really cannot take it anymore. I humbly ask of you please have mercy on me.....
recently i met a girl from my working friend. Her name is christine Goh, hope i get her name correct. i disturb her haha sms her haha.. till she cannot take it haha.... i like to disturb people yay hahaha.....
all this while i'm been living in a life of lies.... she lie to her mom grandmom and family..... she been through that but still put me throught it... sigh.... luckily i realise it, and walk away... she been toying with my feeling..... well, good luck. coz i still pray for you. she is just so bad in someways..... still have the cheek to hide things from her mom and grandmom.... because of her impression is so good in her family...... living your life in lies???
when one day everything been found out lets see if you can take it. for i am always direct and straight forward. i never even thing of hurting anyone.
Fin i have been praying for you. but you yourself have to let go the fear. simply you didnt recover and just step into the relationship.. now you are facing problem, you keep blaming your fear..... i have and did told you at the beginning of our break up. but you choose not to listen. cant blame you also. i understand. if you have step out of the mental state you are in now you can see better.
Sally i am sorry that i could not love you. just simply you are just so perfect. i know you don mind. but, simply i could not believe good things happened to me too. i have to reject you. for the condition you are right now. you should find some one on par with you. for me..... i can only say that i don deserve good things in a way.
If i ever have a chance, i would live my life good and no bad habbit. God i love you.... if i never come to know you..... i think i will be just a low life...... but you have make me become strong in faith. :) Lord of lord King of king. I love you.
Sunday, 2 September 2012
Friday, 31 August 2012
310812 2034Hrs
A woman loyalty is tested when her man got nothing. A man loyalty is tested when he got everything....
Thursday, 30 August 2012
Wednesday, 29 August 2012
290812 2335Hrs
i have return everything to you. my heart will die and never return to you. today onward, you live your life towards what you want. nothing of you i will concern.
Monday, 27 August 2012
270812 1034Hrs
Where are all my comrade? Grey..................................................................
270812 1023Hrs
Here I am waiting
Abide in me I pray
Here I am longing
For You
Hide me in Your love
Bring me to my knees
May I know Jesus
More and more
Come live in me
All my life
Take over
Come breathe in me
I will rise
On eagle’s wings
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVEvD30e5yc
Abide in me I pray
Here I am longing
For You
Hide me in Your love
Bring me to my knees
May I know Jesus
More and more
Come live in me
All my life
Take over
Come breathe in me
I will rise
On eagle’s wings
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVEvD30e5yc
Saturday, 25 August 2012
250812 1334Hrs
just now meeting my boss praise me in front everyone muhahaha.... say that i as a new engineer got praise by the COO of At-sunrice. And still tell those engineer who have been there for years before me, " don see that Jack like Ah Beng Ah Beng, but he is up there. and a lot of client and customer like him a lot. I don know why the client and customer like him so much. but everything is very good"
My Boss mention to everyone also, i am the only engineer that is handling account before i have any training and say i am official secondary person in charge of At-Sunrice. haha. i didnt know i was this good..... I just merely do what i do :) Thank you my lord for concerning me :) all praise goes to you :)
Looks like my Luck have change :) the darkest days of my life have been lifted by God. God because of your grace, your mercy, and your great LOVE... :) Thank you :)
When i started this job the first day, i was so down in spirit, coz some thing happened. i Lost my support from someone i loved..... and i felt even more down when in my company, many people left...... but, God reassure that i am who i am :) i love you my Lord :) you show me tremendous Love patient care and concern. :) There's so much you give :) my Lord once again i cannot thank you enough :)
I don know if its you that send someone that know me so much. but yet again, she is not a believer.....
My lord you say before fear you is the beginning of wisdom.... i started to feel that, that really is in me a little now :)
I been praying to those i hurt and those that hurt me almost every night. have a good life with your partner and live your life well. i will keep praying :) Letting go and forgiving and forgetting sound simple yet again its not. But with the strength of God you can :)
My Boss mention to everyone also, i am the only engineer that is handling account before i have any training and say i am official secondary person in charge of At-Sunrice. haha. i didnt know i was this good..... I just merely do what i do :) Thank you my lord for concerning me :) all praise goes to you :)
Looks like my Luck have change :) the darkest days of my life have been lifted by God. God because of your grace, your mercy, and your great LOVE... :) Thank you :)
When i started this job the first day, i was so down in spirit, coz some thing happened. i Lost my support from someone i loved..... and i felt even more down when in my company, many people left...... but, God reassure that i am who i am :) i love you my Lord :) you show me tremendous Love patient care and concern. :) There's so much you give :) my Lord once again i cannot thank you enough :)
I don know if its you that send someone that know me so much. but yet again, she is not a believer.....
My lord you say before fear you is the beginning of wisdom.... i started to feel that, that really is in me a little now :)
I been praying to those i hurt and those that hurt me almost every night. have a good life with your partner and live your life well. i will keep praying :) Letting go and forgiving and forgetting sound simple yet again its not. But with the strength of God you can :)
Thursday, 23 August 2012
230812 1214Hrs
:) yay hahahahaha... didnt expect that i would meet someone like this..... :) before we met, thats so near yet so far. been going to care group in uncle gab and chee cheong fan place at pasir ris. you are at pasir ris too. its like out of no where you pop out hahaha.... and in God name really just this close half door open up.... in my heart.
But precisely thats just too fast, i really thank you for that real concern, care and love you gave me :) and everything about you was just so real. financially, love, character, taste, upmost important the love in your heart and we think 95% alike...
Thats just goes beyond what mortal words can express :) i finally realise that this is a real thing :) the love and being love. and love..... :)
But the old wound i have, please understand..... i do not want you to think like i am wanting you to do whatever i like. but, given your condition...... given your everything. given your heart and soul. is in every single way exceeded my expectation. And i didnt even expect anything. BUT YOU GAVE EVERYTHING THING......
I am in awe..... and cannot move a inch. coz you are just so freaking perfect.... till now you have met my church friends. you should know :) you keep praising me..... i am knowlegdable, kind, pure heart, witty, very street smart. Justise, have a powerful mind... even your most hard to crack friend find me good.
you know all this? you and your friends and me are in total out of this world, our world are so different. But yet you and your friends find i am such a good person. it really shock me so much..... in the past, i always thought people with degree in academic is very different from people like me.
But, you and your friend prove otherwise...... i lost my words....... so powerful man really. you know something?.... you are really in my soul and mind, just without completing the sentences we know what we want to say..... thats just so freaking amazing!!!!!!!!!
Wanting to buy me a smart phone, and doing what to contribute... is the heart and thought that count :) Thank you so much that you love me this much and all..... i really have already put you into my mind.... i believe in time, you will be in my heart :)
Hug you Sally :)
But precisely thats just too fast, i really thank you for that real concern, care and love you gave me :) and everything about you was just so real. financially, love, character, taste, upmost important the love in your heart and we think 95% alike...
Thats just goes beyond what mortal words can express :) i finally realise that this is a real thing :) the love and being love. and love..... :)
But the old wound i have, please understand..... i do not want you to think like i am wanting you to do whatever i like. but, given your condition...... given your everything. given your heart and soul. is in every single way exceeded my expectation. And i didnt even expect anything. BUT YOU GAVE EVERYTHING THING......
I am in awe..... and cannot move a inch. coz you are just so freaking perfect.... till now you have met my church friends. you should know :) you keep praising me..... i am knowlegdable, kind, pure heart, witty, very street smart. Justise, have a powerful mind... even your most hard to crack friend find me good.
you know all this? you and your friends and me are in total out of this world, our world are so different. But yet you and your friends find i am such a good person. it really shock me so much..... in the past, i always thought people with degree in academic is very different from people like me.
But, you and your friend prove otherwise...... i lost my words....... so powerful man really. you know something?.... you are really in my soul and mind, just without completing the sentences we know what we want to say..... thats just so freaking amazing!!!!!!!!!
Wanting to buy me a smart phone, and doing what to contribute... is the heart and thought that count :) Thank you so much that you love me this much and all..... i really have already put you into my mind.... i believe in time, you will be in my heart :)
Hug you Sally :)
My Posthumous Name
忠武: "Loyal and Martial"
No wonder people say i am justice haha. not trying to be proud but this is real.
No wonder people say i am justice haha. not trying to be proud but this is real.
230812 1125Hrs
Guo Jia was born in the county of Yangdi (present-day Yuzhou, Henan). He initially sought a position under Yuan Shao, the most powerful warlord in northern China at that time. However, he judged Yuan Shao to be an indecisive man who did not know how to fully make use of talented people. Thinking that Yuan Shao had little hope of achieving great things, Guo Jia left his service.
In 196, Guo Jia was recommended to Cao Cao by Xun Yu. After a discussion about the state of China at that time, both found each other likable. Cao Cao then made Guo Jia his military advisor.
During the campaign against Lü Bu in 198, Cao Cao's force won three consecutive battles, forcing his enemy to retreat and fortify itself within the city of Xiapi. By then Cao Cao's troops were exhausted from fighting, and he intended to withdraw. However, Guo Jia persuaded Cao Cao to press on and not give Lü Bu time to recuperate. Cao Cao took the advice and ultimately prevailed against his opponent.
In 200, Cao Cao confronted Yuan Shao's forces at the Battle of Guandu, leaving his base city Xuchang sparsely guarded. Seeing this opportunity, Sun Ce, a warlord in the south, planned to move north and attack Xuchang. Everyone despaired at the news, but Guo Jia foretold that Sun Ce, being proud and impulsive, would be killed by his own people before reaching Xuchang. True to his prediction, Sun Ce was assassinated before he could even cross the Yangtze River. Cao Cao then scored a great victory against Yuan Shao, solidifying his position as the strongest warlord in the north.
After losing the Battle of Guandu, Yuan Shao soon died. His legacy was contested between two of his sons, Yuan Tan and Yuan Shang. Many urged Cao Cao to seize the opportunity to root out the heirs. However, Guo Jia advised Cao Cao to turn his attention south to attack Liu Biao in Jing Province and let the brothers destroy themselves in battle with each other.
Cao Cao accepted Guo Jia's counsel and prepared for a campaign against Liu Biao. The Yuan brothers did indeed wear themselves out, resulting in the overmatched Yuan Tan seeking Cao Cao's aid. Cao Cao moved his force north again and easily defeated Yuan Shang, who escaped to Tadun, chief of the Wuhuan tribes. Cao Cao then conquered Yuan Tan in Nanpi and took control of Ji Province.
At this time, Cao Cao intended to launch an expedition deep into the north to eradicate Yuan Shang and the Wuhuan tribes, but many feared that Liu Biao would attack from the south. Guo Jia encouraged Cao Cao to quickly take up the expedition to prevent a resurgence of Yuan Shang's power. Under Guo Jia's counsel, the army travelled light, leaving behind the bulk of supplies. The resulting swift strike caught the Wuhuan unprepared in the Battle of White Wolf Mountain. Tadun was killed and Yuan Shang went into exile in present-day Heilongjiang and Jilin.
Guo Jia died of a sickness in 207 at the young age of 37. He was conferred the posthumous title of "Marquis Zhen" (贞侯). A year later, after Cao Cao was defeated at the Battle of Red Cliffs, he lamented, "If Fengxiao (Guo Jia's style name) were alive, I would not be in this state."
In 196, Guo Jia was recommended to Cao Cao by Xun Yu. After a discussion about the state of China at that time, both found each other likable. Cao Cao then made Guo Jia his military advisor.
During the campaign against Lü Bu in 198, Cao Cao's force won three consecutive battles, forcing his enemy to retreat and fortify itself within the city of Xiapi. By then Cao Cao's troops were exhausted from fighting, and he intended to withdraw. However, Guo Jia persuaded Cao Cao to press on and not give Lü Bu time to recuperate. Cao Cao took the advice and ultimately prevailed against his opponent.
In 200, Cao Cao confronted Yuan Shao's forces at the Battle of Guandu, leaving his base city Xuchang sparsely guarded. Seeing this opportunity, Sun Ce, a warlord in the south, planned to move north and attack Xuchang. Everyone despaired at the news, but Guo Jia foretold that Sun Ce, being proud and impulsive, would be killed by his own people before reaching Xuchang. True to his prediction, Sun Ce was assassinated before he could even cross the Yangtze River. Cao Cao then scored a great victory against Yuan Shao, solidifying his position as the strongest warlord in the north.
After losing the Battle of Guandu, Yuan Shao soon died. His legacy was contested between two of his sons, Yuan Tan and Yuan Shang. Many urged Cao Cao to seize the opportunity to root out the heirs. However, Guo Jia advised Cao Cao to turn his attention south to attack Liu Biao in Jing Province and let the brothers destroy themselves in battle with each other.
Cao Cao accepted Guo Jia's counsel and prepared for a campaign against Liu Biao. The Yuan brothers did indeed wear themselves out, resulting in the overmatched Yuan Tan seeking Cao Cao's aid. Cao Cao moved his force north again and easily defeated Yuan Shang, who escaped to Tadun, chief of the Wuhuan tribes. Cao Cao then conquered Yuan Tan in Nanpi and took control of Ji Province.
At this time, Cao Cao intended to launch an expedition deep into the north to eradicate Yuan Shang and the Wuhuan tribes, but many feared that Liu Biao would attack from the south. Guo Jia encouraged Cao Cao to quickly take up the expedition to prevent a resurgence of Yuan Shang's power. Under Guo Jia's counsel, the army travelled light, leaving behind the bulk of supplies. The resulting swift strike caught the Wuhuan unprepared in the Battle of White Wolf Mountain. Tadun was killed and Yuan Shang went into exile in present-day Heilongjiang and Jilin.
Guo Jia died of a sickness in 207 at the young age of 37. He was conferred the posthumous title of "Marquis Zhen" (贞侯). A year later, after Cao Cao was defeated at the Battle of Red Cliffs, he lamented, "If Fengxiao (Guo Jia's style name) were alive, I would not be in this state."
Wednesday, 22 August 2012
220812 1100Hrs
There was nothing to say the day she left
I just filled a suitcase full of regrets
I hailed a taxi in the rain
Looking for some place to ease the pain, ooh
Then like an answered prayer
I turned around and found you there
You really know where to start
Fixing a broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can`t cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart
Ever could understand what I'm going through
There must be a plan that led me to you
Cause of the hurt just disappears
In every moment you are near, yeah
Just like an answered prayer
You make the loneliness easy to bear
Soon the rain will stop falling baby
Let's I'll forget the past
'cause here we are at last
I just filled a suitcase full of regrets
I hailed a taxi in the rain
Looking for some place to ease the pain, ooh
Then like an answered prayer
I turned around and found you there
You really know where to start
Fixing a broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can`t cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart
Ever could understand what I'm going through
There must be a plan that led me to you
Cause of the hurt just disappears
In every moment you are near, yeah
Just like an answered prayer
You make the loneliness easy to bear
Soon the rain will stop falling baby
Let's I'll forget the past
'cause here we are at last
220812 1052Hrs
不確定就別親吻 感情很容易毀了一個人
一個人若不夠狠 愛淡了不離不棄多殘忍
Don't kiss if you are unsure, Feelings can too easily destroy a person
If one is not ruthless enough, When love fades away, still staying together is even more cruel than leaving
你留下來的垃圾 我一天一天總會丟完的
我甚至真心真意的祝福 永恆在你的身上先發生
The mess you left behind, I will slowly finish clearing all of them away for you
I even sincerely hope that, Eternity happens in your life first before it happens in mine
你還是要幸福 你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕 別跟著我 銘心 刻骨
You must still live happily ever after. Don't make another dear ones cry again.
All your mistakes stop here with me. Leave me, and let this love forever be remembered.
你還是要幸福 我才能確定我還得很清楚
確定自己再也不會佔據 你的篇幅
明天 開始 這一切都結束
You must still live happily ever after. Only then can I be sure I've returned all that I've owed you.
Sure that I will no longer have a place in any part of your life
Starting from tomorrow onwards, All of this will end
還我鑰匙的備份 我覺得再見可以很單純
我甚至真心真意的祝福 永恆在你的身上先發生
Return me your copy of my house keys. I think the next time we meet, it can be as friends
I even sincerely hope that Eternal love finds you before it finds me
你還是要幸福 你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕 別跟著我 銘心 刻骨
You must still live happily ever after. Don't make another dear ones cry again.
All your mistakes stop here with me. Leave me, and let this love forever be remembered.
你還是要幸福 我才能確定我還得很清楚
確定自己再也不會佔據 你的篇幅
明天 開始 這一切都結束
You must still live happily ever after. Only then can I be sure I've returned all that I've owed you.
Sure that I will no longer have a place in any part of your life.
Starting from tomorrow onwards, All of this will end.
你還是要幸福 你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕 別跟著我 銘心 刻骨
You must still live happily ever after. Don't make another dear ones cry again.
All your mistakes stop here with me. Leave me, and let this love forever be remembered.
你如果很幸福 半夜的簡訊我就無需回覆
因為你的悲喜已經有了 容身之處 我也 能有 最純粹的孤獨 最孤獨的孤獨
If you live happy ever after, I won't need to reply the message I received late at night.
Because you would already have found a place for all your sorrows and joys.
And I, would also be able to, have the purest form of loneliness. The loneliest of loneliness.
一個人若不夠狠 愛淡了不離不棄多殘忍
Don't kiss if you are unsure, Feelings can too easily destroy a person
If one is not ruthless enough, When love fades away, still staying together is even more cruel than leaving
你留下來的垃圾 我一天一天總會丟完的
我甚至真心真意的祝福 永恆在你的身上先發生
The mess you left behind, I will slowly finish clearing all of them away for you
I even sincerely hope that, Eternity happens in your life first before it happens in mine
你還是要幸福 你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕 別跟著我 銘心 刻骨
You must still live happily ever after. Don't make another dear ones cry again.
All your mistakes stop here with me. Leave me, and let this love forever be remembered.
你還是要幸福 我才能確定我還得很清楚
確定自己再也不會佔據 你的篇幅
明天 開始 這一切都結束
You must still live happily ever after. Only then can I be sure I've returned all that I've owed you.
Sure that I will no longer have a place in any part of your life
Starting from tomorrow onwards, All of this will end
還我鑰匙的備份 我覺得再見可以很單純
我甚至真心真意的祝福 永恆在你的身上先發生
Return me your copy of my house keys. I think the next time we meet, it can be as friends
I even sincerely hope that Eternal love finds you before it finds me
你還是要幸福 你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕 別跟著我 銘心 刻骨
You must still live happily ever after. Don't make another dear ones cry again.
All your mistakes stop here with me. Leave me, and let this love forever be remembered.
你還是要幸福 我才能確定我還得很清楚
確定自己再也不會佔據 你的篇幅
明天 開始 這一切都結束
You must still live happily ever after. Only then can I be sure I've returned all that I've owed you.
Sure that I will no longer have a place in any part of your life.
Starting from tomorrow onwards, All of this will end.
你還是要幸福 你千萬不要再招惹別人哭
所有錯誤從我這裏落幕 別跟著我 銘心 刻骨
You must still live happily ever after. Don't make another dear ones cry again.
All your mistakes stop here with me. Leave me, and let this love forever be remembered.
你如果很幸福 半夜的簡訊我就無需回覆
因為你的悲喜已經有了 容身之處 我也 能有 最純粹的孤獨 最孤獨的孤獨
If you live happy ever after, I won't need to reply the message I received late at night.
Because you would already have found a place for all your sorrows and joys.
And I, would also be able to, have the purest form of loneliness. The loneliest of loneliness.
Thursday, 9 August 2012
090812 1426Hrs
zhi dao shuo you de meng yi po shui, cai kan Jian ni de yan lei he hou hui...... wu shi duo xiang zai gei ni ji hui, duo xiang wen ni jiu jing ai shui.....
Ji rang ai nan fen shi fei, jiu bie tao bi yong gan mian tui..... gei le ta de xin ni shi fo neng gou yao de hui............
Ji rang ai nan fen shi fei, jiu bie tao bi yong gan mian tui..... gei le ta de xin ni shi fo neng gou yao de hui............
090812 1417Hrs
National day :) yesterday, me maro and ah boon go for a drink :) haha nice :) looks like my life getting a little better :) also yesterday i was not in a very good mood.... but better now :)
.... do take care :) i didnt pray for you yesterday..... sorry.... but u should be good from now on :) My friend say i should pray for myself.... But the me i am i just cannot be selfish..... i help others willingly i don hold it.... thats just me the way i am....
As you goes through life you'll see, there is so much that be... don understand.....
And the only thing we know is things don always goes.... the way we plan....
Is there so much i can be, can i just still be me??? the way i am......
Da Gong Wu Si....... She Sheng Wei Ren..... Jue Wu Wei Ji.......
.... do take care :) i didnt pray for you yesterday..... sorry.... but u should be good from now on :) My friend say i should pray for myself.... But the me i am i just cannot be selfish..... i help others willingly i don hold it.... thats just me the way i am....
As you goes through life you'll see, there is so much that be... don understand.....
And the only thing we know is things don always goes.... the way we plan....
Is there so much i can be, can i just still be me??? the way i am......
Da Gong Wu Si....... She Sheng Wei Ren..... Jue Wu Wei Ji.......
Wednesday, 8 August 2012
080812 2024Hrs
On august 6th, i was working in suntec. while i was troubleshooting the server... my nose start to bleed. i didnt even realise.... my friend got scare.... hahaha. i think i am seriously injured.....
Sunday, 5 August 2012
Friday, 3 August 2012
030812 2304Hrs
When two people comes from two of different world, comes together.... its is fate. Yuan Fen... Must we be so logical till all things a black and white? .... You come and go, she leave and stay.... I thank you for doing so.... i see you.... feel you.... lastly love you.....but the love part have die off.....
Wednesday, 1 August 2012
010812 0931Hrs
I am sick fever flu..... in jan time.... someone show the love.... i miss that and i tell myself i wish to be sick like this so i can fall into her hands again.... but time passed and people change.... so i stood where i was and pick up and walk again .... :)
Sunday, 29 July 2012
290712 2204Hrs
You
were fortunate enough to be born under the humanitarian zodiac sign of
Aquarius. You are therefore ruled by electric and progressive Uranus
making you forward thinking and self-directed. You’re a born
revolutionary so no one can tell you how to live your life. Your
clear-cut approach makes it perfectly clear just how differently you
wish to experience life.
You just don’t want to be like others and take pride in the fact that you’re so unique. Even if you’re occasionally criticized for your cheeky attitude, you’d far prefer to be self-sufficient rather than being a sheep in society who follows everyone else’s lead.
You are a zesty individual, having tremendous amounts of energy. You are determined and forceful in how you deal with people. You want to express your ground-breaking spirit in everything you do but unfortunately you won’t always able to break free of the limits that are imposed upon you. Some Aquarians learn through their family life that before you can be the master of your own destiny, you have to serve. In some extreme cases Aquarians are controlled and dominated by others throughout the formative period of their lives which is why it’s so difficult for them to submit to others.
If you’re not able to live your life on your own terms, you’ll dream and aspire to a future time when you can fulfill your destiny to the fullest in exactly the way you want. You have very inspirational views of the world and even if your opinions are too different, you’ll always be respected for speaking your mind honestly.
You share your zodiac sign with many other grand personalities. Like them you are attracted to social issues. You like to be involved in groups and organizations that make a difference in society. Even in the smallest of ways, you will try to make some difference in this world. If you look at Aquarians like Oprah Winfrey, Boris Yeltsin and entertainers like Peter Gabriel and John Travolta, they are deeply interested in changing the awareness of people to make the world a better place.
Because you have great organizational and communication skills you work really well with others. You have your own ideas and solutions to problems. Others are surprised at your quirky approach and how you resolve these issues.
You’re investigative, curious and extremely active mentally. Your thinking mind rarely, if ever, stops. You need to learn when to shut down as your brain can become overactive, especially at night.
Communication is your specialty and you relate well to the world. You will continue to enlarge your active personality so don’t try to suppress your true character – just express it prudently. You’re vigorous in the way you present your ideas so there’s never a dull moment around you. There’s often someone who wants to challenge you, especially if they happen to have a much more conventional way of doing things. You’ll be more than happy to challenge that taking great pleasure in proving them wrong.
Uranus, your planetary ruler, is abrupt and breathtaking by nature and will fill your life with plenty of unanticipated surprises - good and not so good. You like it like this and the unexpected is something you thrive upon! Even if you have a stable home or work situation you like to shake things up from time to time to keep everyone on their toes. Still, you’re very loyal when it comes to your most personal relationships.
You like to create a comfortable environment in which to live. Venus influences your domestic sphere so you have a flair for design and color. Your surroundings mirror your unique character. Others are amazed at the way you decorate your home. There’ll be nothing ordinary about it, that’s for sure.
Your far-reaching attitudes overwhelm your friends sometimes and they sometimes refer to you as harmlessly “mad”. Salvador Dali the famous painter once remarked about himself - "The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad!" Even if he wasn't an Aquarius - this sums you up perfectly.
You find it difficult to uphold relationships with those who aren’t prepared to evolve in the same way as yourself. Due to this you’ll be continually re-inventing yourself, trying to stimulate your friends to be better. Your rigid opinions bring you into disagreement with others. One of the laws of power suggests that you must act like others, but don’t always openly air your thoughts. It’s a good idea for you to keep some of their sweeping ideals tucked away until you test the water first.
There’s a universal quality about you. Although you appear aloof and detached you're inwardly sensitive and caring. You prefer to associate with people who share the same diverse views on life. Your life will almost certainly never be drab. You are able to embrace anything new including music and fashion. This is why you’ll always be young at heart.
Being born between the 1st and 9th February may mean that your friends have a hard time keeping up with you as you evolve so rapidly that it makes their head spin. Then there will be others who will try to hold you back from your headlong rush to conquer the world. There's an old saying that you might want to keep in mind which says "think as you like, but act like others" and this may be necessary if your ways are just a little too hard for people to keep up with
You just don’t want to be like others and take pride in the fact that you’re so unique. Even if you’re occasionally criticized for your cheeky attitude, you’d far prefer to be self-sufficient rather than being a sheep in society who follows everyone else’s lead.
You are a zesty individual, having tremendous amounts of energy. You are determined and forceful in how you deal with people. You want to express your ground-breaking spirit in everything you do but unfortunately you won’t always able to break free of the limits that are imposed upon you. Some Aquarians learn through their family life that before you can be the master of your own destiny, you have to serve. In some extreme cases Aquarians are controlled and dominated by others throughout the formative period of their lives which is why it’s so difficult for them to submit to others.
If you’re not able to live your life on your own terms, you’ll dream and aspire to a future time when you can fulfill your destiny to the fullest in exactly the way you want. You have very inspirational views of the world and even if your opinions are too different, you’ll always be respected for speaking your mind honestly.
You share your zodiac sign with many other grand personalities. Like them you are attracted to social issues. You like to be involved in groups and organizations that make a difference in society. Even in the smallest of ways, you will try to make some difference in this world. If you look at Aquarians like Oprah Winfrey, Boris Yeltsin and entertainers like Peter Gabriel and John Travolta, they are deeply interested in changing the awareness of people to make the world a better place.
Because you have great organizational and communication skills you work really well with others. You have your own ideas and solutions to problems. Others are surprised at your quirky approach and how you resolve these issues.
You’re investigative, curious and extremely active mentally. Your thinking mind rarely, if ever, stops. You need to learn when to shut down as your brain can become overactive, especially at night.
Communication is your specialty and you relate well to the world. You will continue to enlarge your active personality so don’t try to suppress your true character – just express it prudently. You’re vigorous in the way you present your ideas so there’s never a dull moment around you. There’s often someone who wants to challenge you, especially if they happen to have a much more conventional way of doing things. You’ll be more than happy to challenge that taking great pleasure in proving them wrong.
Uranus, your planetary ruler, is abrupt and breathtaking by nature and will fill your life with plenty of unanticipated surprises - good and not so good. You like it like this and the unexpected is something you thrive upon! Even if you have a stable home or work situation you like to shake things up from time to time to keep everyone on their toes. Still, you’re very loyal when it comes to your most personal relationships.
You like to create a comfortable environment in which to live. Venus influences your domestic sphere so you have a flair for design and color. Your surroundings mirror your unique character. Others are amazed at the way you decorate your home. There’ll be nothing ordinary about it, that’s for sure.
Your far-reaching attitudes overwhelm your friends sometimes and they sometimes refer to you as harmlessly “mad”. Salvador Dali the famous painter once remarked about himself - "The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad!" Even if he wasn't an Aquarius - this sums you up perfectly.
You find it difficult to uphold relationships with those who aren’t prepared to evolve in the same way as yourself. Due to this you’ll be continually re-inventing yourself, trying to stimulate your friends to be better. Your rigid opinions bring you into disagreement with others. One of the laws of power suggests that you must act like others, but don’t always openly air your thoughts. It’s a good idea for you to keep some of their sweeping ideals tucked away until you test the water first.
There’s a universal quality about you. Although you appear aloof and detached you're inwardly sensitive and caring. You prefer to associate with people who share the same diverse views on life. Your life will almost certainly never be drab. You are able to embrace anything new including music and fashion. This is why you’ll always be young at heart.
Being born between the 1st and 9th February may mean that your friends have a hard time keeping up with you as you evolve so rapidly that it makes their head spin. Then there will be others who will try to hold you back from your headlong rush to conquer the world. There's an old saying that you might want to keep in mind which says "think as you like, but act like others" and this may be necessary if your ways are just a little too hard for people to keep up with
290712 2149Hrs
I have starting praying for you since 100712.... i hope you will be touch by love more than the thing you value now.... you will be bless..... :)
Friday, 27 July 2012
270712 1030Hrs
Why the hell i keep feel up and down like roller coaster..... ?????? Kill my heart......
Wednesday, 25 July 2012
250712 2350Hrs
AQUARIUS MAN
Hot-hearted man who likes to do thing his way. He can suddenly decide to do something without thinking of it’s outcome. He is the type of guy with an inside energizer, so if you fall in love with this type of guy be “patient”, even if you have to follow him a bit. His creative mind could create fantastic idea any time. If you do not understand or can not follow him, you won’t be with him for long.
A man in this Zodiac will less likely to have a pale skin, and if he has a scar, it would be on his face or on his head. He moves very fast and very energetic, and he has a very self confident in himself. He is not the type to sit down and feel sorry or regret anything for long, especially with “Love”. He loves justice. He dares to show his opinion or even argue about certain subject even he knows it might bring him problems. A straight forward type of guy.
He hardly lies except if he think it is necessary and he is not a good liar anyway. He will not lie to you about serious matter, but if he lie he will lie only a small little thing. He is gifted with the ability to be a very social person. He could talk even about subject that he has no knowledge of. He interests only at the present time and look at the world positively. Many times he feels hurt because of reality, but he will not run away and he will overcome that difficulty.
Even he is a high and self confident type and center his own thought as a main focus, but at the same time he is a kind, cute and polite guy. He certainly is not a mean person. He likes to help people who are in troubles even he is not asked to. He is the type who feels sorry if you remember bad things he said to you that he had already forgotten,but you did not. Belief him that he is very sorry and give him another chance.
Once he decides to do something, he will put all his mind and energy in it either in his “Work”, or “Love”. He is the type who gamble anything in the casino, so do not even take him there. He does not like pessimistic, low energy, and depress person, especially no brain. Strangely he like to overpowered this type of people to assure that he is more superior.
He like to be the first person to do something. You can see sparkling in his eyes, once he meet a new target or new lover. Once he is in love, he will be sincere and true till his last breath. This minute he could be real sugar sweet, and later he could also be an icy cold, but do not blame him for that will only chase him away. He could really love someone, but not a heart broken type for he thinks love is “excitement” and “Love goes on”.
If you date this kind of guy, do not or avoid showing your face to him with face pack, face mask, always be presentable, nice and cute. If he is quiet not because he is shy, but he is only quietly thinking. If you have a chance to ask his X-girlfriend, she will tell you that he is not a shy or quiet type. If he is really and truly in love with you, he will never lie to you at all. How do you know if he loves you, bet on your faith! Love him and treat him steadily and do not try to find anything to argue with him, he will be with you for sure.
If you are his lover or girlfriend and need to tell him something, go and say it out loud and straight forward because he hate long boring story. He hate to play games, chasing for love or being chased, so let him call you first. He likes a confident woman who also a good follower. If he gets mad at you, let him be for only a short time he will be normal again. You have to like and be able to get along with his friends, but he does not have to do so with all your friends.
Don’t ever think you could make him jealous by flirting with other man, he will just leave instead of making a scene because he is a confident man and has to be the first in everything.
Hot-hearted man who likes to do thing his way. He can suddenly decide to do something without thinking of it’s outcome. He is the type of guy with an inside energizer, so if you fall in love with this type of guy be “patient”, even if you have to follow him a bit. His creative mind could create fantastic idea any time. If you do not understand or can not follow him, you won’t be with him for long.
A man in this Zodiac will less likely to have a pale skin, and if he has a scar, it would be on his face or on his head. He moves very fast and very energetic, and he has a very self confident in himself. He is not the type to sit down and feel sorry or regret anything for long, especially with “Love”. He loves justice. He dares to show his opinion or even argue about certain subject even he knows it might bring him problems. A straight forward type of guy.
He hardly lies except if he think it is necessary and he is not a good liar anyway. He will not lie to you about serious matter, but if he lie he will lie only a small little thing. He is gifted with the ability to be a very social person. He could talk even about subject that he has no knowledge of. He interests only at the present time and look at the world positively. Many times he feels hurt because of reality, but he will not run away and he will overcome that difficulty.
Even he is a high and self confident type and center his own thought as a main focus, but at the same time he is a kind, cute and polite guy. He certainly is not a mean person. He likes to help people who are in troubles even he is not asked to. He is the type who feels sorry if you remember bad things he said to you that he had already forgotten,but you did not. Belief him that he is very sorry and give him another chance.
Once he decides to do something, he will put all his mind and energy in it either in his “Work”, or “Love”. He is the type who gamble anything in the casino, so do not even take him there. He does not like pessimistic, low energy, and depress person, especially no brain. Strangely he like to overpowered this type of people to assure that he is more superior.
He like to be the first person to do something. You can see sparkling in his eyes, once he meet a new target or new lover. Once he is in love, he will be sincere and true till his last breath. This minute he could be real sugar sweet, and later he could also be an icy cold, but do not blame him for that will only chase him away. He could really love someone, but not a heart broken type for he thinks love is “excitement” and “Love goes on”.
If you date this kind of guy, do not or avoid showing your face to him with face pack, face mask, always be presentable, nice and cute. If he is quiet not because he is shy, but he is only quietly thinking. If you have a chance to ask his X-girlfriend, she will tell you that he is not a shy or quiet type. If he is really and truly in love with you, he will never lie to you at all. How do you know if he loves you, bet on your faith! Love him and treat him steadily and do not try to find anything to argue with him, he will be with you for sure.
If you are his lover or girlfriend and need to tell him something, go and say it out loud and straight forward because he hate long boring story. He hate to play games, chasing for love or being chased, so let him call you first. He likes a confident woman who also a good follower. If he gets mad at you, let him be for only a short time he will be normal again. You have to like and be able to get along with his friends, but he does not have to do so with all your friends.
Don’t ever think you could make him jealous by flirting with other man, he will just leave instead of making a scene because he is a confident man and has to be the first in everything.
250712 2312Hrs
aquarius people are very depressed and sensible people and get hurt easily but never show it
250712 2133Hrs
Banu this is for you haha.... the head line say it all.... but from what i understand from you this period of time. you do have strong character... but your mental strength still need to refine :) you might not understand now but once the time is long enough you will understand.... for the time being just keep my words in mind :)
Monday, 23 July 2012
230712 2215Hrs
Before i leave this place, for some training i will return the phone to you...... i have come to realize you are not mine.... wo zhong yu ming bai.... ni chong tuo dao wei, mei zhen zhen ai guo wo, ni yi lu yi lai, duo ba wo dang sha gua. wo hai yi wei, ni zhen de ai wo... zhen shi bu zhi de....
yuan ni neng gou de dao zhen zheng de xing fu :)
yuan ni neng gou de dao zhen zheng de xing fu :)
Saturday, 21 July 2012
210712 1518Hrs
If being together with me becomes a burden to you, and you wish to have a pair of wings.... i feel you inside out... i understand you have been suppressing yourself.... its like a bird lost sight and sense of direction.... and if our romance have become silent.....i am willing to let you go and becoming single again... and if our promise have lost it value...that i would not hesitate any longer to hold you up.....
In the world there's a type of love called... LET IT GO.... for love i give up my only choice i can make..... for love i give up being with you, for love i let forever lasting go..... for you..... and i lost you..... i have to be cruel to you once.... to make you realize.... ....... ...... if leaving you mean you can have everything again.... i am willing..... to go.....Click.......T_T
In the world there's a type of love called... LET IT GO.... for love i give up my only choice i can make..... for love i give up being with you, for love i let forever lasting go..... for you..... and i lost you..... i have to be cruel to you once.... to make you realize.... ....... ...... if leaving you mean you can have everything again.... i am willing..... to go.....Click.......T_T
Wednesday, 18 July 2012
180712 2113Hrs
weeks pass no sms from her..... well, 50% i am gone..... when i misses you i always sms you... when you don say those words to me..... i feel very sadden..... sometime when my friends sms me misses me.... i take it like those words are from you...... i feel happy...
whenever raining i will sms you careful of thunder...... whenever i am lonely you are no where to be found.... 080712.... your new love started..... thats where i can never ever share my woman with others... from the beginning till the end.... you never been honest with me about your inner heart feeling.... you know that you will hurt me..... but you continue to do so........ listen to this...... my heart just explode...
and the only person in this world that can hear this.... is ME.... none else....
all in all i will pray for you that you are bless..... i will not hate you, will not curse you..... i wish and pray you are all well :)
whenever raining i will sms you careful of thunder...... whenever i am lonely you are no where to be found.... 080712.... your new love started..... thats where i can never ever share my woman with others... from the beginning till the end.... you never been honest with me about your inner heart feeling.... you know that you will hurt me..... but you continue to do so........ listen to this...... my heart just explode...
and the only person in this world that can hear this.... is ME.... none else....
all in all i will pray for you that you are bless..... i will not hate you, will not curse you..... i wish and pray you are all well :)
Monday, 16 July 2012
16012 0753Hrs
Guard your heart and stay on guard is one very important factor if you wanna stay alive in this heartless world... but God command me to show love to people through him.... :) though hurtful, still feel great in helping people :) after all this time, i feel endless heartache..... how can loving someone you loved so much be a pain???
surely that isnt love..... there's a saying, if you love someone with everything, that does not mean they will love you the way you love them. true enough.... but it also do not mean you can hurt him or her......
knowing what is the problem yet choose to hurt..... you think is fun?? or???
i have empower you the right to hurt me..... knowing it you still choose to hurt me.... sigh.... guess i will have no choice but to steadyfast my heart. be on guard....
i use to protect my country with all my blood and heart and souls.... and i am hurt by the people i protect.....
God say let us be his salt and light... show the love of God... his Grace is enough for us :) salt preserve things from going bad..... light is to show people that are trap in the darkness to get out of darkness..
what use then.... if salt lost its saltiness and light become dark?
i have try to bring the best of you but you say you cant do it.... then what more can i say..... you are just not willing..... someone will love you the way you are. so you wont be lonely :) till then enjoy :)
surely that isnt love..... there's a saying, if you love someone with everything, that does not mean they will love you the way you love them. true enough.... but it also do not mean you can hurt him or her......
knowing what is the problem yet choose to hurt..... you think is fun?? or???
i have empower you the right to hurt me..... knowing it you still choose to hurt me.... sigh.... guess i will have no choice but to steadyfast my heart. be on guard....
i use to protect my country with all my blood and heart and souls.... and i am hurt by the people i protect.....
God say let us be his salt and light... show the love of God... his Grace is enough for us :) salt preserve things from going bad..... light is to show people that are trap in the darkness to get out of darkness..
what use then.... if salt lost its saltiness and light become dark?
i have try to bring the best of you but you say you cant do it.... then what more can i say..... you are just not willing..... someone will love you the way you are. so you wont be lonely :) till then enjoy :)
Sunday, 15 July 2012
150712 1506Hrs
things will get better :) yay.... someone coming man :) :( but why am i still low in spirit.... my comrade... where are you guys man..... today stay home watch movies.... soon there will be no more HTC to use... coz i am returning it to someone...... no problem..... my new friend buying a new HTC for me yay yay.... happy... hug hug........... :)
someone happy only... see if this are up to HER EXPECTATION.... pure heart vs money and life style....... well i stay true to myself..... thats why i got hurt.... sigh..... guess this is it le.....
stand strong is one thing... but, i am for sure going to finish strong yay !!!!! :) I don wanna wear my knight armor le..... so tired.... but i have a new set of armor :) this is good :) this time is about my bare fist and the pure metal armor :) yay :) no sword and shield.... just me and the armor :)
Though i know i might get hurt again...... still i cannot be selfish... i will give my all again..... 100%..... coz i see you are willing...... you are real :) lets hold our hands together and move forward....
its not about how hard you can hit, its about how hard you get hit, STAND UP AND MOVE FORWARD AGAIN...... THATS HOW "WILL" IS DONE.. :)
someone don love me as who i am.... well thats alright... coz God have given a she to me :) Love you Lord :)
someone happy only... see if this are up to HER EXPECTATION.... pure heart vs money and life style....... well i stay true to myself..... thats why i got hurt.... sigh..... guess this is it le.....
stand strong is one thing... but, i am for sure going to finish strong yay !!!!! :) I don wanna wear my knight armor le..... so tired.... but i have a new set of armor :) this is good :) this time is about my bare fist and the pure metal armor :) yay :) no sword and shield.... just me and the armor :)
Though i know i might get hurt again...... still i cannot be selfish... i will give my all again..... 100%..... coz i see you are willing...... you are real :) lets hold our hands together and move forward....
its not about how hard you can hit, its about how hard you get hit, STAND UP AND MOVE FORWARD AGAIN...... THATS HOW "WILL" IS DONE.. :)
someone don love me as who i am.... well thats alright... coz God have given a she to me :) Love you Lord :)
150712 1502Hrs
Never play with the feelings of others because you may win the game but
the risk is that you will surely lose that person for a life time...........
Saturday, 14 July 2012
Friday, 13 July 2012
130712 1406Hrs
reading up some stuff in the office. but things still comes into mind..... i freaking hate this weakness of mine.... perhap i have think too much..... all thing have a start and all things will come to an end.... is about what you feel at the end that make you feel what you feel now..... not about how you feel at the moment...
Its all lies.... and it keeps going... how many time do i have to take this? i regretted i did not move on feb 29.... it hurt till now...... if i did on feb 29.... all will be different...... i think i will be a much better happier person...... then again, if not for this... all these wont happened..... i guess all thing have a reason.... but no matter how hard i try i cant find it out.....
Its all lies.... and it keeps going... how many time do i have to take this? i regretted i did not move on feb 29.... it hurt till now...... if i did on feb 29.... all will be different...... i think i will be a much better happier person...... then again, if not for this... all these wont happened..... i guess all thing have a reason.... but no matter how hard i try i cant find it out.....
110712 2254Hrs
loving with expectation??? well its not worth to love in this condition...... someone have become a victim..... he will never know......
other factor? BS..... all BS...... U been all time like this and i been tolerating it. still u think u are faultless? or not at fault? u of all people know that well but u keep doing it to someone that love u so much..... your family, your value, your money, your judgment. everything is you you you......
even you know its not fair. but, you kept it going..... till the day come..... you can say whatever you want. you can say you can take it and everything..... and when THAT day come..... don you ever cried.... coz the person that have been willing to do that for you. has die.....
thinking that you start this anew mean it will be good? you just kept hurting people heart.... and it will never end till you find your heart in peace
other factor? BS..... all BS...... U been all time like this and i been tolerating it. still u think u are faultless? or not at fault? u of all people know that well but u keep doing it to someone that love u so much..... your family, your value, your money, your judgment. everything is you you you......
even you know its not fair. but, you kept it going..... till the day come..... you can say whatever you want. you can say you can take it and everything..... and when THAT day come..... don you ever cried.... coz the person that have been willing to do that for you. has die.....
thinking that you start this anew mean it will be good? you just kept hurting people heart.... and it will never end till you find your heart in peace
Tuesday, 10 July 2012
100712 2016Hrs
remember i did told you.... i say if you miss me sms me.... but from start to end you never did...... and i say you will forget....... true enough...... saying you will try hard not to hurt me..... but you just did it again.....
God bless you :)
God bless you :)
100712 2011Hrs
it hurt seeing that statement..... its ok... i wont see you anymore this time i wont turn back..... i wont be hoping anymore...... this time i will kill it...... do take care and really do.
If ever one day come, i know you wont even think. i will pray that you will lost all traces of me..... i will make sure i do that..... last.... love you.......
wish i never met you.............
Jack
If ever one day come, i know you wont even think. i will pray that you will lost all traces of me..... i will make sure i do that..... last.... love you.......
wish i never met you.............
Jack
Monday, 9 July 2012
090712 2019Hrs
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Saturday, 7 July 2012
070712 1242Hrs
i am very heart broken........ i think i really could not take it anymore...... sorry....................................................................................................
sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
Tuesday, 3 July 2012
030712 2004Hrs
Second day of new work :) happy :) but class not started yet. coz not enough people haha. sigh..... bb got BF lo.... all the best ba... saturday got BBQ what sia :) hahahaha. got to know a few friends. a number of Filipino......
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