I cannot sleep i don know why..... i have been in the company for 2 month lo.... happy and angry in a way... Like i told sylvia i didnt know there is still such good and almost perfect girls out there after i left her...
I feel much happier now :) hahaha my brain is killing me though... i have this problem since i was a kid.... i know my brain is so much more powerful at night..... i don even know why..... maybe God forbi me from using it from things he don know me to.... and in one way i understand..... if i have the power i might abuse...
Thank God for loving me..... God though i always sin against you. but you keep forgiving me.... God if one day i really cannot take it anymore. I humbly ask of you please have mercy on me.....
recently i met a girl from my working friend. Her name is christine Goh, hope i get her name correct. i disturb her haha sms her haha.. till she cannot take it haha.... i like to disturb people yay hahaha.....
all this while i'm been living in a life of lies.... she lie to her mom grandmom and family..... she been through that but still put me throught it... sigh.... luckily i realise it, and walk away... she been toying with my feeling..... well, good luck. coz i still pray for you. she is just so bad in someways..... still have the cheek to hide things from her mom and grandmom.... because of her impression is so good in her family...... living your life in lies???
when one day everything been found out lets see if you can take it. for i am always direct and straight forward. i never even thing of hurting anyone.
Fin i have been praying for you. but you yourself have to let go the fear. simply you didnt recover and just step into the relationship.. now you are facing problem, you keep blaming your fear..... i have and did told you at the beginning of our break up. but you choose not to listen. cant blame you also. i understand. if you have step out of the mental state you are in now you can see better.
Sally i am sorry that i could not love you. just simply you are just so perfect. i know you don mind. but, simply i could not believe good things happened to me too. i have to reject you. for the condition you are right now. you should find some one on par with you. for me..... i can only say that i don deserve good things in a way.
If i ever have a chance, i would live my life good and no bad habbit. God i love you.... if i never come to know you..... i think i will be just a low life...... but you have make me become strong in faith. :) Lord of lord King of king. I love you.
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