I was suppose to write something yesterday 121212. But no time haha.... today I reach office, nothing to do again. slowly this place is becoming walking dead... few of my comrade left... I am demoralize. what good is there to stay?....
I have come to this place for a new start new life. But all it seems now is becoming worst.... maybe perhaps God want me to go through this trial again? My Lord, for you know my loyalty for you. I have lost a very good comrade for me.. Alvin Ang.... and recently I lost my motivation again. Its so damn hard for me to just keep it up.
Recently I've been researching on zodiac, why do I even have to be born on this day.... date..... Why the FUCK am I so different from others????? FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sigh..... never mind I will pick my bag up again and step by step inch out to my dream. my dream the northern light... I know I might not make it, but, I would die try.... even if it mean I have to go alone.... of coz in my heart I really wish I could go with my love.... but then again.... well lets stop here.... coz I know it wont help anything anymore.....
I am losing my grip.... even I am losing it, I would still help anyone that needed help.... a lot people say that I am stupid.... but I really don know why I will help and I give my all to it too.... why I am build like this??? why am I born like this? I don think its of my parent coz they are not that helpful, though helpful. Can someone just point me in the right direction?
A lot people look at me I am a very happy person and without problem trouble and all. But, people deep in me I don know how I should tell you its killing me inside and none have seen it. when I am very close with you then you might see. for now I would just be what it is....
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